7 out of 10
Pairs well with boxed wine. It’s incredibly cheap and therefor has a value all it’s own. But it can be delicious if you pair it with the right things.
So first of all, the full name of this product is the Simple and True Extra Touch G-Spot Finger Extender. That name is way too long for what this toy is, honestly. This toy retails for about $17, and it’s hollow and not large. You know that person whose last name is Winchester and they come from a bunch of really white, old money, but they don’t have it anymore really because years of gambling forefathers and market crashes occurred, but they still went to a fancy school and insist they are on the way back up? They are educated, yes, but that long name didn’t get them too much more than that. That’s what this toy feels like.
So I requested this toy really late, and I happened to receive it because I was the only one who didn’t say “no” to it. And I immediately regretted this choice, if I’m being truthful. But it arrived in the mail and I legitimately wasn’t prepared for how creepy this toy is. For fuck’s sake, it has a fingernail as part of its sculpting. None of my roommates wanted to look at it. Many partners laughed as it lived on my bedside table, waiting to be tested. I put it off for about 6 weeks (which usually is the extent turnover rate, when I’m not moving my whole house and also in school full time).
Here’s the thing; as soon as I got this thing, I immediately thought of many things I would like to do with it that were not putting it in my vagina. Here’s some examples:
So I put off testing it. but I couldn’t put it off anymore. I needed to put this thing on and really give it a fair shake. I mean, how many times in my teenage years did I just wish my middle finger was longer and thicker, exactly like this toy?
My first thought when I put this one is “What is with that texture near the base?” Well, I can say that after weeks of extensive testing, I still don’t fucking know. There was no angle at which I could make that actually touch my vulva, so I’m going to assume that it’s a side effect, as opposed to an actual feature. Even if it could touch me, I doubt I would feel much from this. I immediately filed that texture under “unnecessary.”
I was surprised when I placed my hand in the sleeve and found the band is actually stretchy enough to fit my hands, which are quite wide. Someone once told me I have earth hands, whatever that means. I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the first option for a new fistee. My hands just aren’t narrow. (Another friend who does palmistry said I have air hands, whatever THAT means. But I digress.)
Well, the truth of this toy is that I don’t dislike it. After I placed it on my hand, I grabbed a vibrator and inserted my finger/this thing. It was actually big enough that even I could feel it. This was my first moment of being genuinely impressed. My second was how easy it was to feel on my g-spot. The angling of this toy is pretty okay, as it turns out. It’s hollow the whole way through, but still thick enough to be wiggled and shoved around. As a result, if I angle it upwards, it feels pretty damn good for me.
After a few minutes of working with this toy, however, I started feeling a strong pain in my wrist. In my teenage years, I always thought these toys would be a good idea, but in reality, it only adds about an inch of length to my middle finger. As a result, I still have to hit a pretty steep an difficult angle in order to make this feel good. And yes, my wrist hurts when I hit this angle. It hurts a lot.
Honestly, this toy is not great for solo play. With only an inch added, unless you have really long fingers (mine are weirdly short), this is going to be hard to use. However, with a partner, I suspect that this toy would be fabulous. (I wanted to test this toy with a partner, but I didn’t have one at the time. If that changes, and I think of it, I’ll be sure to update this post.) But I assume it’s naturally easier to reach the angle required when the hand being used isn’t attached to your own body. As a result, this toy may be ideal for partner play. It’s inexpensive, but it adds a lot to a good finger bang.
In short, this toy is an excellent find, especially for the low cost of $17. If you’re looking for something to help out your fingering game, I would recommend this toy. If you’re looking for something solo, you’d better have some really healthy cartilage in your wrists. Either way, you may want to be mentally prepared for large, sort of anatomically accurate purple fingers.