Indigo Tries the Ox Balls Jo-Fist Silicone Penetrator

Happy Holiday Season, Party People! This is the seventh post in my 12 days celebration! What better way to celebrate Capitalism than posting reviews where you can purchase these fine items with my affiliate links?

10 out of 10
Pairs nicely with a Long Island Ice Tea. If you know you can take it, you’re gonna love it. But you have to know that you can hold it.
This toy was purchased with some help from my friend Kit Bauer. They wanted to help sponsor a review, and this is the second post to come from that process. Read both of our thoughts on fist in general in my first article for them!
The Oxballs Jo-Fist sits on a wooden surface. It is bright red, and molded into the shape of a fist to be inserted. There is a cock ring attached to the bottom of the wrist.
The Jo-Fist is a toy from Oxballs. It is designed to be worn around a cock (or a wrist) and then you can be fucked and fisted at the same time (or double fisted). This toy was purchased as I was writing about fisting because it is roughly the same size and shape of my two first firsts. In fact, after some comparison with Taylor, we figured out that it is basically his fist. And of course, since I had Taylor there, why would I use this toy when I can just use the real thing?
However, I did make a fun scenario to insert the Jo-Fist the first time. Earlier this year, I laid out all my toys that were around the size of the Jo-Fist and I began to work my way up. I will admit that the first time was not easy. This toys comes in three sizes, and I have the smallest. Even accounting that, this toy has a largest diameter of at least 2.5.” I personally believe that this a bit of an underestimate. This has to do with the shape of the toy. It’s a bit wider one way than the other because it is hand-shaped. So in reality, this toy feels a lot bigger to me than I expect.
However, I did conquer the fist, and it felt amazing. After having been fisted by a few real humans, I wanted to compare the feeling of this toy to a fist attached to a living human. I have to admit, it is different. Primarily, when being fisted by someone who also is attached to an arm, there is always more goal to reach. Fisting to the wrist, to the elbow, etc. However, with the Jo-Fist, there really is just the hand. You can’t set more goals with it.
Then, there is of course the intensity that comes with being fisted. When I am fisted by a human, I feel completely exposed and full. I have someone gently pushing me to take more, stretch more. And once I have taken their full fist (or whatever their goal for me is), then I can orgasm and receive aftercare. With the Jo-Fist, I have to not only encourage myself to fit the whole toy, but afterwards, I have to bring myself down and provide after care. These things are not unusual to me, as I have often used BDSM in my fantasizing, which creates the need for self-care afterwards. However, it is a bit of a hassle for me to do this every time. As a result, I am careful about how often I use this toy.
The OXballs Jo-Fist sits in it's original packaging. It is sitting on it's base with the fingers at the top. The packaging is just a simple sealed plastic bag.
The insertion is easy because the fist is molding into the traditional fisting formation (a wise molding choice). Additionally, the shore of the silicone is medium, so there is a lot of give with this toy. However, despite my trying, I have still only fit this toy vaginally. One day, I plan to be able to casually fit this fist in either hole. This toy is definitely not for beginners, like a lot of Oxballs’ selection.
Which brings me to one of my favorite parts of this toy. I have been a fan of Oxballs work since I found them around three years ago. They are a company comprised primarily of cis gay men who test their toys in house. That way, they know those toys function well and are of good quality. Only then do they get manufactured for the masses. I learned this as I was working at my first sex-related job in a local adult shop. I was immediately fascinated by such an involved process, and the fact that everything made by Oxballs is silicone is pretty excellent.
I will admit that the price points of their toys is somewhat of a strain. They all seem to be made in the price range for a classic duel income no kids household. This toy is around $80 (USD) even at the smallest size. I appreciate the craftsmanship, but it does make the toys inaccessible for many people. And I can find other insertables I use more often for less money.
Speaking of craftsmanship, the last thing that I want to mention around this toy is the clean-up. I have never thought about my hands or fist as having so many nooks at crannies for stuff to get stuck in until I had to clean this toy for travel. Every time I turned this thing over, I found another bit of vagina goo hiding in a place that I didn’t even know could exist on a hand. The. Worst.
The Jo-Fist is on it's base with the fingers sticking up.
All in all, I really like this toy because it fulfills a solo fisting need. I won’t use it as much as I would like to because of the emotional and physical clean up. It also helps me feel more like a gay man, which is a community I don’t feel connected to very often. But due to the size and price, it will be inconvenient for many people.
This toy was purchased with some help from my friend Kit Bauer. They wanted to help sponsor a review, and this is the second post to come from that process. Read both of our thoughts on fist in general in my first article for them!

Indigo Tries Getting Fisted

9 out of 10
This pairs nicely with a full bottle of wine. Any color. Any type. But definitely all of it. The whole thing.*
*Don’t drink and get laid. It’s irresponsible. Don’t drink and fist.
This post was created in collaboration with Kit Bauer. Their generosity with money and time allowed me to take my time and research what others’ thought. You can find their (amazing) Twitter Feed here, and their escorting page here! 
Let me tell you a story. As a budding blogger, I heard the term fisting, and I briefly wondered what it was before a kind human turned to me and said “Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.” Then, I knew what fisting was. And because I am goal-oriented, I immediately knew that one day, I would be fisted. Because I am a size qweeng and because I like to overcome obstacles.
A couple years later, I was spending the night with a bang buddy. She is the first vulva-owner I’ve ever had sex with. After that exploration, which was truly divine, she wanted to finger me. So she started with a dominant routine of hitting and teasing, which led to inserting two fingers. Then three, and four. I just kept wanting more (she is quite small). She said “Are you…sure?” Being lost in the moment, I just moaned “Yes yes!” She went quiet and fumbled around and then went still.
“Is…everything okay down there?”
“Well…your vagina ate my hand.”
And that is the story of how I got fisted for the first time. The second happened that very same night. My second fisting partner would come along (heh) two weeks later at a conference in Toronto. And now I would say I can take a good many fists with ease (consecutively, not at the same time…but like goals, though).
So what is fisting? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like: you take an entire hand (or fist) into an orifice. It can be done vaginally or anally. I am sure that more creative people have done orally as well. If there are others ways to fist, I cannot fathom them, but I do appreciate other people getting creative with their bodies. It’s often seen as a challenge to overcome, or a really hot way of giving pleasure. It’s denoted in the Hanky Code by the color red.
So I have never fisted anyone (had my fist in a person), I have only been fisted (received a fist into my amazing body). Since fisting had been a goal of mine actively, I spent the first minute with a fist in me just being fucking proud and amazed by my vagina. I felt my partner rotate their arm and their knuckles inside me. Though insertion had to be performed with a traditional thin hand (all fingers pointing away from the wrist and close together), she could make a real fist once inserted.
Let me tell you, there was a beautiful minute where I felt so accomplished. I was so proud. And then she moved it just a little, and I felt myself tense up and orgasm. It was unlike any other orgasm I’d ever had. For me, fisting still brings a unique orgasm that I cannot reach with any other activity. I have just recently found my A-Spot, and I love it. But even that is different than what fisting feels like. I personally feel like fisting hits my A-Spot and my G-spot at the same time, which leads to an intense squirting sometimes. It has all the psuedo-pain and tenseness of a G-Spot stimulation, as well as all the deep and gentle power behind the A-Spot stimulation.
As I’ve said, within a month, I was getting fisted once more at Playground Conference. My friend Taylor J Mace and I had planned this for awhile before it happened, and it was a little different being fisted with purpose and intention. It also helped that we had done some more intense Dom/Sub interaction beforehand. I was thoroughly in subspace when he started. It was even more intense somehow, though there were some people watching. Since he is quite experienced, it also helped because I wasn’t pushed. And though I didn’t get quite to the wrist because I was in a small space, I know that his fist will be inside me entirely soon.
My experiences of fisting are entirely from a submissive perspective, with some kind of Dom/Sub dynamic. So I asked around for others’ take! I was especially interested in what my friend Kit Bauer had to say because they have also been fisted, but without the Dom/Sub dynamics.
“I felt so open, exposed and the amount of nerve endings that are touched is incredible. I also feel very intense waves of emotions during fisting – at times I want to cry while at other times I felt completely overcome by the pleasurable sensations. I felt so intensely vulnerable to put my trust in someone else like that and because of this I can find it difficult to come back to reality afterwards. I just want to be held, not have to speak, or even to be alone and come back to my body.” When I asked about the Dom/Sub dymanics, they admitted to not having any altered headspace. Instead, they said “I felt like I was being given a gift. Perhaps it made me more dominant, but I wasn’t in a dominant headspace.”
There is a distinct possibility that my sexual interactions are almost exclusively submissive now, just because I’m always submissive. However, I will admit that when I’m being fisted and there is a lot of communication, I’m closer to equal with my partners than when I’m not being fisted. I believe that the trust we place in each other makes us closer to equal, which is fascinating as a kinkster, sex educator and as a psychologist.
To further my information, I of course turned to Twitter, where a few other people also mentioned the physical sensations, same as Kit. They used a lot of words like “Intense”, “Connective”, and “Stretched.” However, some folks really got into detail about being a fister, and mentioned that bodies are soft and warm. The tightness as partners came and the sense of accomplishments on both sides of the fist were common themes.
A few people who are dominant and fisters also mentioned a heightened sense of power. They talk about having so much of their submissive under their control. One person even mentioned that between eye contact and muscle contractions, it becomes hotter because there is no verbal communication needed (though it is of course allowed). I believe that this is what draws me to fisting as a sub. It’s so vulnerable that anyone who is domming me with their entire fist has such amazing power over me. Because of that, they have to listen to me because if something does go wrong, it could potentially go really wrong.
Fisting is one of the universal acts. I mean this in the way that it can be intimate or it can be business-like. It can be done with Dom/Sub dynamics. However, it can also be a simple, intimate act that is shared partners. For me, I saw fisting as an ultimate goal and a place to be as submissive as my body would allow. Now, I find it to be a way to form a strong bond between myself and my partners, specifically with my own kink dynamics. I have a goal to fist someone someday, but I’m okay to only receive for now.
As a last note, I want to say: Fisting is a bit hard to accomplish for some folks, and I want to have a brief moment to acknowledge that. Some people just won’t be able to take a full fist. That is completely okay. Bodies are all different and your body is amazing, even if it doesn’t check every box that exists. There are many ways to connect with a partner or to submit. This is just one. Love your body where it is.
This post was created in collaboration with Kit Bauer. Their generosity with money and time allowed me to take my time and research what others’ thought. You can find their (amazing) Twitter Feed here, and their escorting page here! 
 

Indigo Attends Playground Conference 2018!

10 out of 10
Pairs well with a Rum and Coke. It’s sweet as hell, and goes down well.
This year, I heard about Playground Conference through my friends, The Dildorks. I said to myself “Well, that’s nice, but I’ll never actually make it. It’s expensive, I’m a student, and it’s far away.” Unless…
Which is where my angel comes in. Her name is Lilly and as I’ve mentioned before, she is literally the nicest human. She kindly sponsored one person to go to Playground Conference this year, and that was me, because I’m so fucking lucky, I have no words. So then I thought about lodging. That’s always the most expensive. And just like that, another angel stepped forward. She said I could use her apartment as she would be staying at the hotel. (She is local to Toronto, and I don’t want to give away details for that reason.)
With lodging and ticket taken care of, I knew I was going, but the trick was finding a way up. Flying was too expensive, so it would have to be by land. I couldn’t take my car because it is old and dying. So bus was really my only option. By this time, Lilly had already started a campaign on Twitter to fund my attendance, and two people had sent money within the first hour. At the same time, I noticed that a bus from Washington D.C. to Toronto was 56 bucks round trip. So I snatched up a seat and Lilly called back the funding hounds because I had made $60 already thanks to Hermione Danger, and my friends at the Swing Shift. I was really going to Playground Conference.
And then the months of waiting. I made lists. I looked at other people’s lists. I started Testosterone. I worked through schoolwork. I lied to my family about why I was really excited to go (networking versus REALLY HOT HOTEL SEX). And finally, the evening came where I was to board a bus and go to Toronto for a whole weekend. It was a long and stupid 15 hours where I got around 4 hours of sleep and ate too many snacks. So I’ll skip that.
Day 1
I spent this day reconnecting with people who I met at Woodhull. Immediately, I got to see Kate, Bex, Sarah, and Suz. While Kate and Bex had to go take some self-care time shortly after, I spent my afternoon getting lunch with Sarah and Suz. Might I say, the crepes were amazing, and I definitely ate way too much food.
Then we headed out to a really great feminist bookshop in the Gay neighborhood of Toronto (which people just referred to as The Gayborhood, and I honestly never bothered to learn the street name). It was an amazing time with some excellent baristas. I loved the walk and the neighborhood in itself. With good company and good coffee, we headed back to the hotel. I briefly talked to someone who was really draining, and then disengaged to enjoy the Opening Plenary.
Here is a truth: I LOVED the speakers here and definitely enjoyed it. But it wasn’t something that moved me as much as other things. As such, I’m gonna move on from it.
After grabbing some dinner with Kenton, Luna and another friend, we were late for Tell Me Something Good (a sexy storytelling event). Though I had a great story to tell, I didn’t get a chance to go up. It was a fun time anyway. After that, most people were ready for bed. Originally, I was going to be fisted that day by my friend Taylor, but we ended up spending about an hour and a half failing to find a place for that, and then giving in and going home. (Spoiler alert: All was not lost on the fistern front.)
Day 2
I woke up with 7 hours of sleep, which is pretty good considering that I was in a new place. I was lazy about getting myself together, but I did have the best outfit that day, including my curly hair because I’m a beautiful lion. However, I did miss all of the morning sessions and ended up just chatting with folx in the hotel lobby. I was glad to have taken care of myself, but I am sad about not pushing myself some.
We went to a very overwhelming supermarket for lunch, where I got the first thing I knew I would like. I wish I had been a little more put together because someone got poutine and fuck do I love poutine so much. Alas, it would have to wait.
I took my lunch into “Psychology of BDSM” which was my favorite talk by far. I love psychology and where it interacts with sex. I do believe that more of my blog will be geared towards this in the future. I have been told my live tweeting of this talk was thorough and well-done, so if you want to check that out, click here.
However, after spending so much energy, I needed another break, so I went to enjoy some easy socializing. It’s at this point that I perused some of the tables in the vendor area. I saw a paddle, which I absolutely loved, but I didn’t buy it. I waited to see exactly what I wanted and thought very hard about whether or not I could leave it. I also eyed up some of the leather cuffs, because my outfit was truly begging for them as accessories. I believe I bought those on the spot (and I do not regret it).
After enjoying how the links on my cuffs moved, I went to see The Dildorks live recording both to support my friends, but also because I am a fan. I enjoyed many laughs and got some really good ideas for sex while travelling.
Dinnertime rolled around it was time for some Pad Thai. So we went to a delicious Thai place in the gayborhood (because I really want to live there, tbh). I believe it was here that I told numerous drunk tales from my past, including being identified as and answering to the name “Butter.” Later, I would realize that Sarah is the Bread to my Butter and it inspired a photo shoot, which took place in better lighting the next day. Needless to say, I am now ecstatically happy to have enjoyed a good meal with good folx, and I’m excited for new friends all over.
After dinner, it was time for some femme getting-ready time and we definitely had a lot of fun with this. I even got some glitter on me, so I felt as much like a gay man as possible. It’s rare that I connect with so many femmes in one place because it sometimes cause dysphoria, but at Playground, I felt so seen that I could have been in a dress and still felt like myself.
After being appropriately cute, we went to Sex Ed A Go Go, which was an amazing experience. Unfortunately, I was feeling some out of place because the room was so crowded and I ended up near the back of the room to get my own space. I spent a lot of the night laughing hysterically and drinking water to take care of myself. I did good, is what I’m saying.
And being in my own space payed off because I was handed an index card that had simple words scrawled on it: Trans-focused Play Party in Room [0000]. Starts at 11.
I had been seen. And on top of that, I had been invited somewhere. Presumably because those who saw me found me attractive in one way or another. My personal secret is that I’m not very confident, but I am a good actor. And this affirmation took the external view of me and made it more real. I am good and lovely in my trans-ness. So of course, I went to this party and finally got fisted. What else would you expect? For me to go to another party beforehand and get spanked by Taylor? Oh yeah, because I did that too.
Needless to say, I went to couch happy and tired.
Day 3
This day was extraordinary for me. No, I still didn’t make it to morning sessions. I rolled into the hotel around 11:30, and I chatted with some fellow bloggers (including evening recaps) until we went to lunch. Earlier, I heard someone talking about Fran’s, and I love diners. So we went down half a block and we had the best lunch I think I’ve ever had. It involved a bunch of my favorite bloggers, poutine, eggs benedict and boozy milkshakes.
To be honest, I’m not sure I need to qualify it more than that, so I’ll just let you imagine how glorious it was.
After such a delightful late lunch, we headed back to the hotel, and had time to say goodbye to a few people who were leaving. I knew Kenton was on his way out, and I had contemplated asking if I could catch a ride (he would have to drive past my place to get home). But I put it off because I assumed he would have wanted introvert time after a con like that. Being the token extrovert, I like to give my introvert friends their space.
As it turns out, I needn’t have worried. When I found out that he was staying for the closing talk, I ended up asking and got an enthusiastic yes.
So the whole conference ended with a most epic 12-hour road trip, which we tweeted a lot of. I will leave that link there for you to read, and you’re welcome to imagine the rest. But I will promise that by energy drink three, and hour 8, we were in Waffle Hour permanently. And fuck me, that momo was amazing.