Indigo Tries the Cloud 9 Deluxe Enema Douche

6 out of 10

Pairs will with a Gin Fizz. It certainly is an experience and you’re not quite sure you want the end product. (Is that a raw egg?)

This kit was sent to me by the lovely folks at SheVibe in exchange for my fair and honest review. You can purchase it here!

The CloudFresh Anal Deluxe Douche sits on an orange scarf, leaning against a blue wall. It's a purple round bulb, with one flat side, and there are three nozzles in the package , which are all black.

It’s not a secret that I really love butt stuff. I wrote a whole delightful post about it, and I rave about it on Twitter a lot. I have always liked the idea of butt stuff, and I done butt stuff with my partners since I’ve had partners. In the shower, I often finger myself and I thoroughly enjoy that pleasure without orgasm. It’s just a fun way to connect with my body.

So one day when my partner was worried about my butt not being “clean” and getting “some mess on his dick,” I calmly reminded him that this is why you wear a condom for butt stuff. I also reminded him that if he thinks my body is gross, he can leave. I will admit that scat is not my personal kink, but I will not tolerate anyone who freaks out at bodily functions. There’s a difference between shaming and simply saying “it doesn’t turn me on.”

However, I did decide that I wanted an enema kit for my own. Not only would it make butt play easier and more fun, but I would also worry about my partners’ reactions less. So I requested The Cloud 9 Deluxe Enema Douche from the kind folks at Shevibe, and I eagerly awaited my enema kit in the mail. I was over the moon to receive it and unwrap it. But when I did, I found out that I was intimidated by it. What would happen when I used it? What would it feel like? What if the water was too cold? Too hot?

First, let me tell you about this product. Then I will launch into a TMI story about my first self-given enema. I’ll warn you before it starts.

I opened this kit and was immediately struck by the smell. The plastic smells were strong and weird. I would expect this from a PVC product (which is what the bulb is). I will probably have to replace this kit eventually because it cannot be fully sanitized, but because it’s only being used anally, I have a bit more time before that. This is a very bottom-heavy toy so it won’t fall over easily and the flat base is an excellent feature. There are three nozzles, each with their own shape and size. Each one screws in easily and they are fairly water-tight around the seam. Personally, the shortest nozzle worked well for me, specifically because I wasn’t warmed up. I later used the largest (widest) one in and that worked fine, but seemed like over-kill.

A close up of two of the nozzles. Both are black plastic. There are some specifications on the side, which include discussion of the flat base, a one-year warranty and a reminder to clean before and after use.The product itself is exactly as advertised. It doesn’t have a lot of bells, whistles or explanation, but it works well for me and it only costs about $20 (USD) at time of posting. I’m quite fond of this little kit and I don’t regret getting it. If that’s all you wanted to know about this enema kit, stop here. But if you’re curious about enemas and specifically my first time using one, read on.

I want to give folks a warning for a lot of TMI here, specifically around some butt stuff and poop. I’m going into the details of my first enema so that you might feel a little less awkward about yours.

It started with a shower, which seemed like the best place, nice and clean, etc. I figured if any mess happened, it would be easy to clean and I could move on. Well that was sort of true. Only I needed to get the head of the kit into me. Past my rather large cheeks (which like to touch) and into my anus. So I stopped the shower and got out and grabbed a bit of lube. I put it on my anus and finally got the enema in. Great. I squeezed some water into my colon and it felt WEIRD. Let me tell you, there was some air in there (you should maybe squeeze that out before insertion).

But I did okay on the temperature because the water felt like nothing. In fact, I pulled it out to make sure it was working properly. Well, it definitely was. I immediately felt like I had to poop. So I stopped my shower and sat down. There was no poop, just water. But I couldn’t tell because there are no other nerves to tell me WHAT is passing. Just WHEN it’s passing. So I finished passing the gas and water and I hopped into the shower again because I’m paranoid. My roommates were thoroughly confused by this, but they know better than to ask questions.

Once I felt like I was “empty” and there was nothing left to do, I hopped out and dried off. I then played with toys for about an hour because my butt was so clean and ready for play. I enjoyed some dildos, and some butt plugs. I even used my lovely unicorn horn to stretch it. I’m playing with a secret goal to get Double Fisted, so I’m real excited for that anal training.

In short, I was extremely intimidated by my first enema, but now I consider myself a pro at them. It’s a nice way to clean your tush, and this kit is a great price, and easy to use!

This kit was sent to me by the lovely folks at SheVibe in exchange for my fair and honest review. You can purchase it here!

Indigo Investigates Vulva Ejaculation

10 out of 10

Pairs well with late nights and strong coffee. When you get to the bottom of something, you need both of those.

Recently, I have been having a lot of orgasms, thanks to the miracle of testosterone. Not only do I always want sex, but I commonly use sex as stress relief because apparently, I physiologically can’t cry anymore. Like, the emotions are there, but the release isn’t? This is fine. I’m fine.

But it inspired me to research ejaculation in bodies with vulvae, because that is not a subject that is often talked about. When it is talked about, there’s a lot of discussion about “controversy.” Because I am a student and a scholar, I have finally done some solid research in the databases available to me and I have found several scientific articles and studies relating to female ejaculation, and as a bonus, I’ll also discuss the Grafenburg Spot (G-Spot).

Let me start with my personal adventure. I have often been described as “juicy” by my partners. I produce a lot of natural lubricant and when I orgasm, I often ejaculate or “squirt.” Let me tell you, waterproof sheets saved my life. I began to hear the words G-Spot and squirting when I worked at a sex shop. I was curious about this, so I did some fast internet research. I found that it is somewhat common, but not everyone does this. I felt a bit lucky because it came up in porn so much, and I assumed it was desirable. It is actually a pain to deal with because I kept ruining sheets. My laundry stacked up fast.

After becoming a blogger and really exploring my body with new toys, I realized that this “squirting” thing wasn’t new to me and I had been doing big orgasms this whole time. So I began to lean into this concept of using layers of towels, and I started using my Pure Wand with more excitement. In those moments when I really need a good cry, I’d reach for my Pure Wand and fuck myself until I was dehydrated from squirting. It wears me out and gives me a cathartic release that normally, yelling into a pillow in agony would. Thank the gods for this cathartic release.

So what does ejaculation feel like? Well, instead of feeling the stimulation in my labia or clit, I often feel it deeper and…higher? Like instead of crotch feeling good, the area within my pubic mound feels good. It can sometimes be almost painful, but I like the intensity. When I orgasm from G-Spot stimulation, I am almost guaranteed to squirt. Well, to be honest, I gush, really. It sometimes projects out, but that is usually helped with thrusting. Normally, it just sort of rushes like a tiny waterfall. A twaterfall, if you will. Instead of tingling and pulling up, I feel a push down and my whole body tenses deeply.

Sometimes, my ejaculate is odorless and cloudy. Sometimes, it smells a bit like urine, or even just how my vagina smells that day. I don’t worry about what it smells like, beyond just checking in with my body. If it smells really bad, then I worry I have an infection, but if it’s just a little bit like pee, I’m not worried. After all, I know that ejaculate does void through the urethra, so it makes sense that it would smell a bit like urine, which also voids that way.

So I experience this. Big deal, right? WRONG. Here’s the truth: there are many many people with vulvae that experience the same thing! I consistently hear about many people who quirt, whose G-Spots swell during sex, who can’t orgasm without stimulation there. So it’s not just me. And the sample size is not small, despite what people say.

So I turned to the research. There is surprisingly little on this phenomenon, which doesn’t surprise me. There is research enough to confirm it might exist. The only reason to research would be to understand it better, which isn’t tied to life-saving science, but social justice science. Most of the studies around sex are related to bodies with penises, and in order for this to be studied, it would shift the focus, which removes privilege. As a result, the studies aren’t funded. It’s “not important” according to the powers that be. This is my personal opinion, but I’m willing to bet that I’m not alone in this train of thought.

Though there are many studies that say female ejaculation is real and the G-Spot has plausible evidence to be investigated, there are still people saying that it isn’t real. And to have my experiences (and many others’) invalidated is wrong. You can’t tell me that so many people with vulvae just don’t know their bodies or just don’t understand sex. I have sex a lot. And I know my body well enough to know you are the one who is wrong. My purchase of a sex sheet is NOT in vain.

Here’s what the science actually says. The Kamasutra mentions “when she feels him moving in a certain spot inside her, the pleasure of that touch makes her eyes whirl around in a circle.” So there is a clear space in the vagina that is arguably more sensitive or responsive. Well that makes sense because the vagina is surrounded by many different organs, glands and nerve paths. However, it has been consistently found by many people in the same general area. So there’s a historical context for the G-Spot existing, at least for some.

In 1981, a gynecologist named Martin Weisberg at a conference heard about female ejaculation and didn’t believe it. He went to the speakers of the panel and asked if it was true. They not only confirmed it, but showed him some subjects who were willing to demonstrate in person. It was so compelling that he later wrote a note in The Journal of Sex Research about how gynecologists were not helping their clients if they didn’t know about ejaculation. He went so far as to posit that in the future, there would be laughter about the debate of female ejaculation. I can only hope, my friend.

In 1981, there was another paper published regarding a case study, which means just one person. Addeigo and company studied a woman who consistently released fluid when she had sex with her husband. They wanted to know what it was and if it could be related to the G-Spot. So they manually stimulated her G-Spot and she ejaculated as a response. This was in a controlled environment with similar stimulation each time. They gathered the fluid and studied it’s contents. They found that though it had some similar components to urine (urea, glucose, cretinine), it was largely Prostatic Acid Phosphatase. This chemical literally has “prostate” in the name. Which means it’s not a primary ingredient in urine. Later, it was hypothesized that this fluid comes from a series of glands that are biologically analogous to the prostate in typical penis-owners. This is why the G-Spot is sometimes called “the female prostate.” You can get out with your over-simplified, gendered bullshit.

So if these people see it, where’s the counterarguments? In my research, I found one article which I could access that had creative scientific counterpoints. It was written by a Terence Hines. In this one article, Hines mentioned a lack of historical mention of the G-Spot (which I have already disproved in my discussing the Kamasutra. This same article also discusses how there is a lack of scientific studies around the G-Spot. Those which exist are primarily anecdotal often has small sample sizes. Well, most phenomenon were stories before they were studies. How about we get some proper funding, and proper scientists on this, eh?

His last argument was regarding nerve endings. Hines discusses the lack of nerve endings around the vagina, which means it’s unlikely that it will be a center of deep sensations which many people with vulvae describe. Except so many people describe the sensation as deeper and not the same as other stimulation. So I hate to break it to you, Hines, but you’re looking for nerve endings in the wrong spot.

Basically, we just need to listen to people with vulvae. We know our own bodies. Even if the scientists get funding and prove the G-Spot doesn’t exisit, would you use that as an excuse to not pleasure someone in a way they enjoy? Do you really feel the need to be right over the desire to please a partner? Why?

This post was written in collaboration with Sheets of San Francisco. The research was my own work and opinions are my own. These sheets have been my best toy, which I use every time I masturbate. If you also squirt, or want to, pick some up.

Indigoes: Four Great Concepts I Learned Out of AltSex 2018

Last year, I heard about a little conference called AltSexNYC. I was truly enamored with the idea of a bunch of people who study sex and psychology in a room together talking about sex and psychology. So I decided to go by myself. With very few connections in New York City at the time, I was a little nervous, but I made a friend through another friend who let me stay with them. It turns out that a bunch of people studying sex and/or psychology and coming together to talk about sex and psychology was perfect for me! So when it came up again this year, I immediately bought my tickets. This time, I was lucky enough to stay in a hostel and bring a friend.

I always learn fascinating things from conferences, but this one has a special place in my heart because it’s so professional-based and very much about research that I just learn things I know I will use and expand on in my everyday life. So let me tell you about the 4 mind-blowing concepts I learned at AltSex2018.

First. The DSM is lazy. Samuel Hughes presented some excellent research about kink and how it develops in our lives. One thing he briefly touched on was the pathologization of kink. In easy terms, we often think of kink as a medical issue to be fixed. The evidence of this can be found in the Diagnostics and Statistics Manual (DSM), where we currently find around 8 diagnoses that have to do with sex and/or kink. These include Masochism, Sadism, Fetishism, and Pedophilia to name a few. Now, most of them cannot be diagnosed without one major component: That it causes significant distress to the patient.

So many people think don’t get diagnosed with these things. And Hughes made the argument that we should not be using them at all. Because the desires are not the problem. The results are. So instead, of diagnosing someone with Masochism, get to the bottom of their distress around it. Are they in physical danger from too much harm? Are they in distress because they worry what others will think (external locus of control)? Those issues are fixable. With pedophilia, the issue isn’t the desire or attraction itself, but the action around it. That is more related to impulse control, which has other diagnoses.

I recently heard that the use of the word “crazy” is just laziness because you usually mean something else. When I say that some administration is crazy because it’s making policies against marginalized communities, I probably mean “careless,” “thoughtless,” or even “cruel.” But not crazy. Now, I’m beginning to think of these diagnoses in the same way.

Second. Sex Educators are still using the word “virginity.” There were many times I heard the word virgin in this conference. Someone even used the phrase “lose their virginity.” I cringed so hard when I heard it. Virginity is an out-dated, sexist concept that was used to commodify women and control sexuality. I think that a room full of people should say “had sex for the first time.” Or “someone who hasn’t had/engaged in sex.” I feel so strongly about this because:

Third. Language is incredibly important. Both inside and outside of communities.

One study presented talked about common traits of “tops” and “bottoms.” It was presented by two people who seemed to be outside of the community, or at least less knowledgeable. They never addressed switches. They never defined “top” and “bottom.” They never diverged the idea of top/bottom dynamics from dominant/submissive dynamics. Then they attempted to take these words from the context of BDSM and apply them to the vanilla community.

In that transfer, the words lost their meaning. Instead, the presenters described “topping” and “bottoming” like dancing. “Someone has to lead,” they said. Well, when you enter a room of kinksters, and those who work with kink, you need new language. Because those words are taken and they do not mean what you think they do. The words we use in kink and negotiation are as important as pronouns or names. We cannot recycle them. Leading/Following, Topping/Bottoming and Domming/Subbing are all different concepts in subtle ways. If you take our language, you muddy the waters through which we tread and someone will be hurt.

Lastly. Being seen is being mistaken for being loved. Dr. Herukhuti gave the last speech of the conference. It was beautiful and moving. There was a poetry in the words that made me feel safe and invigorated all at the same time. He ended to a huge round of applause that was well-deserved. I took away a few concepts from that talk. But he wasn’t done. During the final Q&A, he had one last thought that hit me like a truck:

“Being Seen is so rare, and so spiritual, that it can often be mistaken for being loved.”

The implications of this statement were so profound. I capitalize the word “seen” for a reason. I don’t mean to physically see someone. I mean to understand who they are and what they want or need. To really know someone. On one hand, being Seen can be like being loved. It can feel so affirming and wonderful. It’s the highest form of interaction in some ways. However, it can also be used. People who are abusive usually See their victims immediately, which helps them target. They identify with them and know their ins and outs. It’s hard to be Seen because it’s vulnerable. And someone who is all there, who just lays out their life, can be Seen by anyone.

I’ll leave you with one last thought that I had. It occured to me while Buck Angel was talking about what trans men should need to transition (namely, that every trans person should have a therapist). While I agree that everyone (regardless of gender) should have a regular therapist, this is an inaccessible notion right now. At best, the idea that Buck has is privileged. Buck argued that many people are making irreversible decisions without knowledge or thought, and seeing a therapist would help them with those decisions. I agree a therapist would help, but I don’t think anyone is trans without being very mindful of their gender expression. While I disagree with Buck in these basic ways, I just don’t understand why he feels such an inaccessible form of help is the solution. Basically: If you try to solve a problem, but can’t work within the structures that currently exist, or create the entirety of the ideal world you want to live in, your solutions are not solutions, but speculations.

Again: If you cannot make your solution work in this world we live it, then it is not a solution.

I don’t want to focus too much on that, because I truly loved AltSex this year. I learned a lot and shared a lot. I was grateful for the experience, just as I was last year, and I’ll see ya’ll next year too!

For More quick recaps of what i learned, take a look at these Twitter threads (I’m real good at live-tweeting, y’all):

 

Author’s Postscript: I didn’t want to harp on the negative things about AltSex, because I love this conference a lot. But I do have some issues with it too. There is a survey disseminated, which I will also put this feedback into, but I want my readers to know too. 

Firstly, they don’t stay on schedule. We lost about 10-20 minutes of our lunch break because of this and it’s extremely frustrating. There need to be more buffers built in or more severe cut-offs for speakers. 

Second, they lost a lot of time because the organizers talk a lot. I feel bad saying this because I know people want to talk and it’s important to thank those involved. But having less time for the organizers thanking people and introduction of speakers would help with the time crunch.

Third (and last), they do not link to the speaker’s websites on the AltSex webpage. If you look at the schedule page, they have links in the names. Those links lead to another subpage of AltSexNYCConference.com, and there are no links to the speaker websites despite many of the speakers having one. This is unfair, and undermines a speaker’s publicity and reason for speaking at conferences. I honestly believe it’s ethically wrong. 

Indigo Writes Erotica: Something More Scrumptious

Hello everyone! I’ve been wanting to try my hand at writing erotica for awhile now, and I finally have the opportunity to do so, thanks to Sheets of San Francisco! I hope you enjoy my first try at a food play scene. Enjoy!

Trigger Warnings: Food Play, Sensation play with sharps (but no breaking skin), D/S dynamics


Some dry, uncooked pasta and cherry tomatoes sit on a cutting board.

Image courtesy of Pexels.com

I did everything right. I had calmly opened every door as we went to the store and I happily carried the basket full of pasta and sauce. A little cheese, and a collection of spices. When we got home, they watched as I stripped off every garment and put on the apron that I was ordered to wear while I cooked.

It was a simple meal, but Sir had to make sure everything was right. So they didn’t sit at the table in the other room. Instead they pulled a stool in and sat in the kitchen. It was a tease, because I had to move around them to get out all the ingredients, giving ample opportunities to grope my ass. They held my wooden spoon, promising to correct me if I so much as measured the pasta wrong. It was a tease, but they were also keeping an eye on me.

“Oh pup, pay attention, the pasta is boiling over.”

I quickly turned down the burner and stepped away from the stove. I closed my eye and felt the sting of the spoon before I heard it.

“I’m sorry sir.”

“That’s okay, pup. I’m sure it was an accident. I just don’t want you to be so careless with my dinner. Or my dessert.”

They bit my ear and gently rubbed where the spoon had landed, reassuring me that it was all okay, that I was still within their power. I sighed and tried to grab the pot of pasta. It was time to drain it. But they stopped me and poured it themself.

“I do not want my pup to burn themself for my sake. I have to keep your skin as healthy as possible, so I can enjoy my dinner plate. I’ll finish this up, it’s time for my plate to be washed.”

They quickly patted my head and gave me a kiss. I could see their cock beginning to harden already, and I was proud that I put on a good show. I went to the bathroom and began to shower. I had to be extra careful this time because I wasn’t just getting clean for myself. I was getting clean for a dinner guest.

It took about 30 minutes for a thorough wash. I was enjoying how the water felt, but I knew that Sir would not want me to dawdle too long. Teasing was one thing, but waiting was another. I toweled off and left the bathroom, not bothering to put on a robe. Earlier that day, we had already placed waterproof sheets on the bed and laid out a few toys for the scene.

Sir was already waiting near the bed.

“Good work. I’m thinking that perhaps I should call you something other than pup today, since it’s such a special occasion. I was thinking Cupcake. It makes sense, because you’re going to be my dessert today.”

I shivered under their touch and feeling their words over my body. I was already being fucked in their imagination.

“Come on, Cupcake. Lay down on your stomach, and I want you to look at this chair here.”

The dining table chair had been moved over to our sleeping area and I laid down, with my head to the right. It would give me a good view if I strained my neck a little. But I stayed still for now, because Sir did not give me permission to look. They had already taken off their shirt, and I could see their breasts moving as they brought over a few pieces of cheese and sat down.

Some brown bread and a wedge of swiss cheese sit on a cutting board. It's a top view of this.

Image courtesy of Pexels.com

“Cupcake, I’m going to make you a deal. I’ll place one piece here.”

I felt a slice rest on my neck, touching the base of my skull and the crook where my shoulders met my neck. If I moved even a little, it would fall. I knew immediately what was going to happen.

“If that piece falls, I will have to punish you. It would be a shame, since I was so nice to have this appetizer while the pasta cools.”

I smiled and kept myself still as they places more pieces onto my shoulders. This is where the appetizer area was. I saw them sit down, spreading their legs just a little. I had one glimpse of their erection before I felt a cold piece of metal against my spine. A small fork.

Sir trailed it up and down my spine a few times, teasing me with the points. I felt a pressure on my shoulder and then one piece of cheese lifted from my shoulder. I heard a gentle sigh of enjoyment and some chewing. The fork resumed it’s teasing, trailing over my shoulders and back. Occasionally, it made a pass across one cheek, and I would softly gasp.

“You’re being so good, Cupcake. Don’t ruin it yet.”

I felt one hand touch my cheek, where the spoon left a red mark. A reminder of what happens when the serving platter gets above it’s station. Another piece of cheese lifted. It was hard to tell how many were left.

“I’ve never had cheese so fresh and so delicious. I’m surprised it didn’t melt onto you because you are unbelievably hot today.”

“Thank you sir.”

I felt that pressure again, and this time it came with a little pinch. I sighed as the cheese left my shoulder.

“Sir, I think you might have pricked me.”

I used my jaw as little as possible so as to not fail at my one task. I knew sir would still expect me to be a good platter until we confirmed skin was broken.

“I’m sorry, Cupcake. There’s no blood, just some indents from the fork. Should we stop, or are you okay?”

“I’m really great, Sir. Please continue enjoying your meal.”

I smiled as one more piece of cheese disappeared. We were getting close to done with this course and I could feel it because Sir spent more time with their hands on me than with their fork on me. I felt them lean into the bed. Their tongue ran up my shoulder and I felt their teeth close around the last piece right next to my ear. They stayed there and slowly chewed and swallowed. I was surprised to notice how much that sound turned me on. I had been wet when I lay down, but now I could feel it slipping from between my labia.

“You did a great job, love. I know how wet you are right now. Since you were so good, I want to reward you. You’re going to get to come for me.”

I shivered but didn’t move. I wasn’t sure what Sir wanted, but I was sure it wasn’t for me to move. And that’s when I felt their leg on mine. I could feel one foot hook at my knee and pull my leg over, exposing my holes to them.

“How are you feeling today, Cupcake? Should I avoid anything? Any hole in particular?”

“No, Sir. My pussy is craving your attention though.”

He laughed. “Don’t tell me what to do, or you’ll end up with a punishment.”

I knew I said the right thing, and this was just a little reminder of power. Even though I was going to orgasm, I needed to be reminded it was because of Sir. And it was for Sir. Their enjoyment of me was my reward. It did not take long, either. One hand put pressure into my shoulders, and I felt the other hand trail down my back, touching my anus very briefly, and then a finger slid into my pussy. It normally took at least a little lube, but I was so wet from the appetizer, I didn’t need any today.

I let my hips slide open and moaned deeply as another finger slid in, followed by a third. I felt their thumb on my clit. How were they getting that angle? It started soft at first but with a moan, it turned into the pressure that Sir knew I liked best. It was too much already. Between being teased while cooking, the play with the cheese, and the pressure on my torso from their hand, I came fast. It wasn’t a large orgasm. It would take a bit more than a thumb for that, but Sir was pleased anyway. I could tell from their breath, and they way they dropped to their elbow as I came under them. They kissed my neck gently.

“Good job, Cupcake. Now I can finish my dinner. Close your legs so I can plate it.”

I felt a little lost after they walked away. I was clearly deep in subspace, and needing contact. They returned with two bowls and touched me. They immediately knew I was feeling lost and they place both hands on my shoulder and leaned down to me.

“I’m sorry, Cupcake. I didn’t mean to leave you so suddenly. Are you okay?”

I nodded and finally closed my legs. I felt Sir’s arms on me. The weight was grounding and I immediately stopped shaking. I was back to being the platter Sir deserved.

“I’m okay, thank you Sir. Please enjoy your meal.”

A plate of spaghetti with red meat sauce and cheese on top. There is a fork being pushed into the spaghetti.

Image courtesy of Pexels.com

They planted a kiss on my head and I could briefly feel their breasts warm and soft on my back. Then they pushed away. The next weight was a cold circle of a bowl on my shoulders. And then warm pasta was set right into the small of my back. The bowl was switched out, and I felt some liquid trickle onto my sides. The spaghetti sauce. It had been made with Sir’s recipe, with their eyes watching my every move. Now, they would enjoy it off of me.

I kept very still as Sir undid their belt buckle and lowered their pants to the floor. I felt a bit more liquid trickle from my vagina. I had done such a good job that Sir’s cock was hard. I could see how they struggled, wanting to fuck me, but also wanting to torture me. I knew Sir was strong enough to resist their urge.

And then the fork was back, trailing over my skin. I felt it dig into the pasta and every noodle moved over my back. It tickled me, and teased. I felt a little sauce move out of the hollow and trail down my ass. It tickled a little, but it didn’t get far before I felt Sir’s tongue lap it up. I giggled as I felt his tongue flick over my asshole. It hadn’t gone quite that deep, but the clean up was thorough.

“Oh, fuck Cupcake. I can’t take anymore. I need your holes right now.”

“Yes sir!”

Their hand pushed the remaining dinner off of my back onto the sheet, and I felt the sauce smear over my skin. A little ran down my hip and under my belly. I felt them climb onto the bed and opened my legs. Their cock was right between my cheeks, teasing a little. I knew that they would choose my vagina because they didn’t grab a condom. Being fluid bonded only went so far. I lifted myself to my elbows, and arched my back, showing my eagerness.

“What a waste.” I barely murmured it, but Sir caught what I said.

“Oh, Cupcake, I knew you would say that. Don’t worry. After we make a mess, I’ll watch you clean it all up. In fact, here’s a bit now. Have a snack, love.”

I felt a stray pasta run up my side and over my shoulder. Their fingers pressed the pasta into my mouth and I happily sucked it in, getting a little sauce on my chin. As the last bit of noodle disappeared, I felt their cock slide into me at last. It was good to be fat and fucked at the same time.

“Oh gods, you are so hot, pup. I love your curves and your ass.”

I felt hand smear more sauce across my back and Sir leaned their full weight on me. I felt their hair hit my shoulders, and I shuddered again. The weight of their body pushed their tits against my back. They growled in my ear, which told me how much control they had given up. I was no longer their platter. I was a pup.

I growled back and felt their teeth sink into my shoulder as they thrust harder into me. I whined and lifted my ass, letting them go as deep as possible. They held their bite into my shoulder, and grunted loudly. I could feel their orgasm coming, and I was eager for them to come.

“Oh please sir, come for me.”

“You got it, pup.”

I moaned loudly as I felt them shudder above me and they came into me. They thrust hard for about 10 seconds, before slowing down and finally they collapsed into my body and I lowered myself into the bed.

“Fuck, babe. That felt amazing. Are you okay?”

“Yes, pup. Did you come?”

“No, sir. But I feel more than satisfied.”

“I’m glad. Once I recover a bit, I’m going to finish my dinner. With your help, if you like. And then I would like something more scrumptious.”

We smiled as Sir pulled a noodle off my back and lowered it, bottom first, into my mouth.

 

Indigo Tries the Womanizer Starlet

4 out of 10

Pairs well with a middle-shelf white rum. Something like Bacardi. It’s not the worst out there, but there will definitely be people who object.

This toy was sent to me by Betty’s Toybox in exchange for an honest review. You can buy it in pink or purple (because those are the colors women get), or white (because they needed another color, but didn’t want us to forget our gender assignments. 

The Womanizer Starlet sits in a clear plastic case. The Starlet is about three and a half inches tall with a nozzle for suction. It is while with silver accents.

When I had a chance to review something from Womanizer, I jumped on it, honestly. I hate the name they chose for this brand, and I know several people who can’t even use it because it’s just too much dysphoria. I am gender-fluid, so it does not affect me quite as strongly, but jesus do you HAVE to, companies? So yes, sit back and prepare for a small rant about the Starlet and gendering toys in general. Because gendering toys is unnecessary and I am mad about it.

Now, you’re probably wondering about why I’m so mad. After all, I feel such a minimal amount of body-related angst because I’m gender-fluid. I find that I can roll with most gender feelings and I don’t ever feel like mis-gendering me causes me pain. It just shows me how careless you are. But, I do want to emphasize how unique I am in this aspect. I know too many people who feel like they are compromised at every turn. They question the toys they are supposed to use and the companies that they should trust. It’s not just down to feeling safe in a bathroom. It’s about feeling safe in your own home. In your own bed. In your own skin.

The unnecessary gendering of something like a sex toy is only a passive attack and a microaggression against an entire community that is already struggling under the current society and the administration that runs it.

So hey, companies, maybe STOP BEING SO AWFUL, OKAY?

And now that I’ve ranted about that, I can maybe review this product?

The Womanizer Starlet sits on a paisley cloth. It's face up, so the nozzle can be seen clearly. There is a small rubber cover near the bottom which covers the charging port.Since I reviewed the Satisfyer line, I have been dying to try the Womanizer brand. I’ve heard that Womanizer is better somehow, and I wanted to give them a fair shake to see if it was true. I can’t resist a good comparison. Womanizer was arguably the first suction-based sex toy, and I love the genuinely revolutionary nature of their product. I believe that they introduced something many people enjoy, which had not been done before (or at least done well).

Now, the Starlet is a smaller version of their original concept. I think of it as the bullet vibe version of a clit suction toy. It costs less at $80 and it only has one button to cycle through all the settings. Marketing says it’s specifically designed to “fit in a handbag.” Now, I’m going to take all the gender assumptions in this product and I’m going to ball them up real tight, wrap them in foil to stop their radiation, and toss them into the garbage where they belong. PLEASE STOP NOW.

Okay this is fine. I’m fine. So let’s get to the actual product. I am fat. For context, I weigh in around 270 on a light day, I’m 5’9″ and I have some broad shoulders. I’m pretty sure I can only use the Starlet properly because I was a dancer, which gives me some flexibility in my back and shoulders. The Starlet is inconveniently small. I mention in my Satisfyer review that egg-shaped toys are a garbage idea, right there next to gendering things. The Starlet is roughly egg shaped, but the suction nozzle sticks out more. This is good because it’s less likely to go swimming in my labia, but it’s actually smaller than the Satisfyer, so it’s harder to grip. I suppose that evens out somehow?

I’ve been trying to use this toy for literal months now. I’m honestly behind on my review, and I feel bad about it. But I really wanted to try liking this toy. I’ve used it with partners, I’ve used it solo. I just cannot find any good use for this toy. Just like the Satisfyers, I find it to feel like nothing unless I turn it up way too much and then it feels like pain. My clit is actively trying to run away from these toys, and they just surround it with vibration and awful. Every orgasm I’ve gotten with this style of toy is just meh, and sometimes comes with pain. I have never had the mind-blowing orgasms I was promised, and I’m really not okay with trying so hard for such stupid orgasms.

The Womanizer Starlet sits on a paisley cloth. It faces away from the camera, which shows the back has a single button near the bottom and the rubber is embossed with a W.

Let me be honest: this toy has one thing that I really like about it: The charging port. This toy charges with a micro-USB cable and when I found that out, I lost my shit. Seriously, it is the bane of so many reviewers to have random, one-use cables around. They are all white or black (except Fun Factory is red, which is a blessing). And for this to use a cable that I have, which is useful for other things is extraordinary. I don’t have to immediately label it with “WOMANIZER STARLET” lest I lose the cable and need to reunite them. For $80, I would like to enjoy more than just the charging cable.

In short, I think that this toy is just as useless as the Satisfyer line, but with twice as much gendered marketing. That’s why it’s score is so much lower and I’m not sorry about it.

This toy was sent to me by Betty’s Toybox in exchange for an honest review. You can buy it in pink or purple (because those are the colors women get), or white (because they needed another color, but didn’t want us to forget our gender assignments. 

 

Indigo Attends Playground Conference 2018!

10 out of 10

Pairs well with a Rum and Coke. It’s sweet as hell, and goes down well.

This year, I heard about Playground Conference through my friends, The Dildorks. I said to myself “Well, that’s nice, but I’ll never actually make it. It’s expensive, I’m a student, and it’s far away.” Unless…

Which is where my angel comes in. Her name is Lilly and as I’ve mentioned before, she is literally the nicest human. She kindly sponsored one person to go to Playground Conference this year, and that was me, because I’m so fucking lucky, I have no words. So then I thought about lodging. That’s always the most expensive. And just like that, another angel stepped forward. She said I could use her apartment as she would be staying at the hotel. (She is local to Toronto, and I don’t want to give away details for that reason.)

With lodging and ticket taken care of, I knew I was going, but the trick was finding a way up. Flying was too expensive, so it would have to be by land. I couldn’t take my car because it is old and dying. So bus was really my only option. By this time, Lilly had already started a campaign on Twitter to fund my attendance, and two people had sent money within the first hour. At the same time, I noticed that a bus from Washington D.C. to Toronto was 56 bucks round trip. So I snatched up a seat and Lilly called back the funding hounds because I had made $60 already thanks to Hermione Danger, and my friends at the Swing Shift. I was really going to Playground Conference.

And then the months of waiting. I made lists. I looked at other people’s lists. I started Testosterone. I worked through schoolwork. I lied to my family about why I was really excited to go (networking versus REALLY HOT HOTEL SEX). And finally, the evening came where I was to board a bus and go to Toronto for a whole weekend. It was a long and stupid 15 hours where I got around 4 hours of sleep and ate too many snacks. So I’ll skip that.

Day 1

I spent this day reconnecting with people who I met at Woodhull. Immediately, I got to see Kate, Bex, Sarah, and Suz. While Kate and Bex had to go take some self-care time shortly after, I spent my afternoon getting lunch with Sarah and Suz. Might I say, the crepes were amazing, and I definitely ate way too much food.

Then we headed out to a really great feminist bookshop in the Gay neighborhood of Toronto (which people just referred to as The Gayborhood, and I honestly never bothered to learn the street name). It was an amazing time with some excellent baristas. I loved the walk and the neighborhood in itself. With good company and good coffee, we headed back to the hotel. I briefly talked to someone who was really draining, and then disengaged to enjoy the Opening Plenary.

Here is a truth: I LOVED the speakers here and definitely enjoyed it. But it wasn’t something that moved me as much as other things. As such, I’m gonna move on from it.

After grabbing some dinner with Kenton, Luna and another friend, we were late for Tell Me Something Good (a sexy storytelling event). Though I had a great story to tell, I didn’t get a chance to go up. It was a fun time anyway. After that, most people were ready for bed. Originally, I was going to be fisted that day by my friend Taylor, but we ended up spending about an hour and a half failing to find a place for that, and then giving in and going home. (Spoiler alert: All was not lost on the fistern front.)

Day 2

I woke up with 7 hours of sleep, which is pretty good considering that I was in a new place. I was lazy about getting myself together, but I did have the best outfit that day, including my curly hair because I’m a beautiful lion. However, I did miss all of the morning sessions and ended up just chatting with folx in the hotel lobby. I was glad to have taken care of myself, but I am sad about not pushing myself some.

We went to a very overwhelming supermarket for lunch, where I got the first thing I knew I would like. I wish I had been a little more put together because someone got poutine and fuck do I love poutine so much. Alas, it would have to wait.

I took my lunch into “Psychology of BDSM” which was my favorite talk by far. I love psychology and where it interacts with sex. I do believe that more of my blog will be geared towards this in the future. I have been told my live tweeting of this talk was thorough and well-done, so if you want to check that out, click here.

However, after spending so much energy, I needed another break, so I went to enjoy some easy socializing. It’s at this point that I perused some of the tables in the vendor area. I saw a paddle, which I absolutely loved, but I didn’t buy it. I waited to see exactly what I wanted and thought very hard about whether or not I could leave it. I also eyed up some of the leather cuffs, because my outfit was truly begging for them as accessories. I believe I bought those on the spot (and I do not regret it).

After enjoying how the links on my cuffs moved, I went to see The Dildorks live recording both to support my friends, but also because I am a fan. I enjoyed many laughs and got some really good ideas for sex while travelling.

Dinnertime rolled around it was time for some Pad Thai. So we went to a delicious Thai place in the gayborhood (because I really want to live there, tbh). I believe it was here that I told numerous drunk tales from my past, including being identified as and answering to the name “Butter.” Later, I would realize that Sarah is the Bread to my Butter and it inspired a photo shoot, which took place in better lighting the next day. Needless to say, I am now ecstatically happy to have enjoyed a good meal with good folx, and I’m excited for new friends all over.

After dinner, it was time for some femme getting-ready time and we definitely had a lot of fun with this. I even got some glitter on me, so I felt as much like a gay man as possible. It’s rare that I connect with so many femmes in one place because it sometimes cause dysphoria, but at Playground, I felt so seen that I could have been in a dress and still felt like myself.

After being appropriately cute, we went to Sex Ed A Go Go, which was an amazing experience. Unfortunately, I was feeling some out of place because the room was so crowded and I ended up near the back of the room to get my own space. I spent a lot of the night laughing hysterically and drinking water to take care of myself. I did good, is what I’m saying.

And being in my own space payed off because I was handed an index card that had simple words scrawled on it: Trans-focused Play Party in Room [0000]. Starts at 11.

I had been seen. And on top of that, I had been invited somewhere. Presumably because those who saw me found me attractive in one way or another. My personal secret is that I’m not very confident, but I am a good actor. And this affirmation took the external view of me and made it more real. I am good and lovely in my trans-ness. So of course, I went to this party and finally got fisted. What else would you expect? For me to go to another party beforehand and get spanked by Taylor? Oh yeah, because I did that too.

Needless to say, I went to couch happy and tired.

Day 3

This day was extraordinary for me. No, I still didn’t make it to morning sessions. I rolled into the hotel around 11:30, and I chatted with some fellow bloggers (including evening recaps) until we went to lunch. Earlier, I heard someone talking about Fran’s, and I love diners. So we went down half a block and we had the best lunch I think I’ve ever had. It involved a bunch of my favorite bloggers, poutine, eggs benedict and boozy milkshakes.

To be honest, I’m not sure I need to qualify it more than that, so I’ll just let you imagine how glorious it was.

After such a delightful late lunch, we headed back to the hotel, and had time to say goodbye to a few people who were leaving. I knew Kenton was on his way out, and I had contemplated asking if I could catch a ride (he would have to drive past my place to get home). But I put it off because I assumed he would have wanted introvert time after a con like that. Being the token extrovert, I like to give my introvert friends their space.

As it turns out, I needn’t have worried. When I found out that he was staying for the closing talk, I ended up asking and got an enthusiastic yes.

So the whole conference ended with a most epic 12-hour road trip, which we tweeted a lot of. I will leave that link there for you to read, and you’re welcome to imagine the rest. But I will promise that by energy drink three, and hour 8, we were in Waffle Hour permanently. And fuck me, that momo was amazing.

 

Indigo Tries the Sportsheets Divine Diva

8 out of 10

Pairs well with a Toasted Almond. It’s got a good base flavor, with a little added cream, and it’s plain delicious.

This was sent to me by my friends at Shevibe.com in exchange for a fair and honest review! You can purchase it here!

The box for the Sportsheets Divine Diva Harness. It's got a picture of a thinner torso with the harness on. The harness is black with a large triangle-shaped pad in the front, behind the O ring. The O ring is held in place with brass hardware in nylon straps. Behind this torso is another torso from behind with the harness on. It shows a larger pad for the small of the back.

So when I started reviewing for Shevibe, this was my first choice. I had heard some excellent reviews of Sportsheets in the past, and I desperately needed a harness because I had a partner that needed my cock in a major way. And when it showed up, I had to struggle to restrain myself from tearing open the box and put it on before I took pictures of the packaging. Divine Diva indeed.

And when I finally had a partner over, the need to use it was more immediate. So I took a few pictures of the box and I pulled it out. My first impression? I have a mass of straps and some cushions. Oh look, here’s an O ring!

I will admit to having some extremely silly moments in my life. I was once bested by a microwave. It was one of the simple ones too. I just completely forgot how they worked, but I’m not going into details about what happened. Just that an adult did have to come help me cook my cup-a-noodles. I was 19 at the time. However, when I pulled out this harness, I was really confused. What on earth possessed humans to think this was a good thing? It didn’t look like a crotch or underwear at all.

Well, it turns out that once it was all out of the box and laid out, I was looking at it backwards. And once I got it laid down, I understood perfectly. The microwave bested me, but this mass of fiber art would not! It turns out all those straps are extra adjustable and really, it slips on easily. For my purposes, I just put it on right over a thong (you’re welcome for that image). It was really easy for me to adjust all the straps and they were all within my reach. So while I was fixing it, my partner could watch and that was wonderful to feel.

The straps are nylon, so they slip easily. It didn’t take too long to adjust thanks to that. Although, this does mean it loosens easily, and I was afraid of it going slack on me. Perhaps I should tie a few knots in the straps for extended wear. However, with the artificial fibers, there is little to no chance of staining and there’s very little on this harness that could not be washed. I would recommend being careful about washing machines because of the brass hardware, though. I got a little bit of a mess on one strap, and it came clean with a little soap, which I am grateful for.

The Sportsheets Devine Diva sits on a blue bed spread. It has black nylon straps linking two triangle pads linked. There are black bolts holding straps, which link into an o ring.

So I wanted this specific harness because it was designed for larger folx. I’ve never been a fan of the word Diva to describe plus sizes, and that seems to have permeated the entirety of this industry from dildos to lingerie. I wish we could just say plus size or actual measurements. But that’s a bit of my pickiness. Details are this: This harness fits hips from 28 inches to 82 inches, which is such an expansive range. I was genuinely shocked to see that claim. It also fits up to 44 inch thighs.

I haven’t taken my measurements in awhile, but I have about a 44″ waist, and it worked wonderfully for me. The toys I use slip in easily, and it does feel firm against my body. Having that back cushion feels both supportive and comfy. Though I didn’t get a change to put my cock in someone’s butt (yet), I did get several really intense blow jobs. The straps did eventually work looser than before, but it wasn’t at a disturbing rate. It would not be inconvenient to have to re-tighten the straps during a play session either.

This kit also comes with three cock rings of different sizes. I love how much they thought of their customers with this. The rings change out easily with three snaps, but those snaps also feel secure enough to stay in place even with vigorous fucking. And the best part about this harness? The front panel can be removed, which means that a strapless strap-on can be used with it! If your strapless feels less than stellar, just slip this over it! So the amount of dicks this harness works with is pretty limitless.

In short, I’m going to use this harness a lot. I’m excited to get my dick wet with the newest harness adventure!

This was sent to me by my friends at Shevibe.com in exchange for a fair and honest review! You can purchase it here!

Indigo Creates a Sex On the Go Kit!

10 out of 10

Pairs nicely with soylent. It can travel with you, replace a usual stay-at-home meal/drink. And it’s just plain smart to have on hand.

I once saw Bex mention a safer sex kit that they have, and though I had never heard the term before, I immediately knew what was in theirs, what every safer sex kit should have, and what mine should include at all costs. And so, with a lack of funds, I began to slowly build one. I had some condoms from Woodhull that I put into my purse and that was the first step. It wasn’t enough for me, though. What happened if I met a nice vulva-owner who needed my face? What if I met someone with a large toy collection that they needed me to conquer? What if I found someone who wanted to fist me?

I realized that my paltry few condoms were not only useless in these situations, but I was giving into the patriarchy. I was raised as a woman and the expectation that all I needed for “sex” was a condom was inherently erasing my sexuality. So this Christmas, when a good friend of mine asked what I wanted, I happily requested a make-up bag from her company. I had some choices of color, and I went with a subtle black exterior, and a bright pink interior. It was perfect. She made me talk to her family about what it was for too, which made my educator heart soar!

So what did I know was going in this bag? Well, let me take you on a delightful tour of my Safer Sex Kit!

There is a black Sheets of San Francisco Funsheet spread out. On top is a collection of lube samples, condoms, dental dams. There is a small black make-up case next to them, which is opened to reveal black of black gloves and more condoms.

 

Condoms

Why yes, I have mentioned condoms already, but let me elaborate. I’m lucky enough to live near a sex shop that has a full wall of single condoms with a wide variety of traits. They have non-lubricated, non-latex, colored, and varied sizes. So I went wild on this wall. I collected an assortment to fill as many needs as possible. I now have at least one of each kind (though often more), so I know that no matter what allergies I meet, I’m covered! I even picked up some colored condoms for fun (because though I’m an adult, I’m still a little at heart).

Gloves

So I really like variety in my sex. I don’t just want a partner to shove a dick in me and have at it. I like dicks, and PIV (Penis in Vagina) certainly has a place in my usual sex repertoire. However, what if I want anal? What about warm-up? What about just good, old-fashioned finger banging? Well, I’ll need gloves for that. Since I know myself, and will probably want them for butt stuff, I went all out and picked up some black nitrile gloves from my local Homo Home Depot. I wanted the black to hide any potential (insignificant) flecks, which sometimes happen with butt stuff. I also picked up nitrile because latex allergies are incredibly common. (I actually may be allergic, which has shown in my use of latex gloves, but condoms have never bothered me. My body is weird.)

Dental Dams

Yes, I love the vulvae I meet, and I want to be able to pleasure them with my face, as long as the owners of said vulvae also want that. So I have some dental dams in my bag as well. Now, I know it’s possible to cut a condom and use it as a dental dam, but I won’t always have scissors, so I’m definitely glad to have the dams I do. I had to choose from the flavored ones because that was all my store had (I was so upset). If I do have sex with someone who has an allergy, I’ll have to find some scissors and cut up a condom after all. However, for all the other vulva babes, I’ll be set.

Lube

So along with a wall of condoms, the shop I visit also conveniently has a wall of lube samples. Small packets of lube that are single use. Almost every sex store has a selection of these, but my local shop is the best and has a huge variety (yes, I am biased). I went in one day and spent about $10 on lube samples for my kit. I bought some of the fun flavored ones, but I also picked up silicone for on-the-go fisting, as well as water-based and organic lube. Again with the “at least one of each” method. Having a variety is important so that none of my partners have to compromise their health just to bang me.

A black make-up chase with a quilted texture is sitting on a black Sheets of San Francisco Fun Sheet. Beside the bag is a small black vibrator.

Bullet Vibe

So I like to have a little small bullet vibe because my clit is really picky about the type of stimulation it gets. I often find that I don’t want others to touch my clit, but to focus their attention on the actual penetration, or other acts. As a result, I like to have a bullet for me to use. In particular, I love the Fun Factory Bullet. It’s a very hard plastic, so I can apply the pressure I usually need to get off. It’s rechargeable as well, so it’s incredibly rumbly for a bullet, and I’m being nice to the environment!

The Biggest Item of All

Now, I don’t always know what will happen when I have sex on the go, but usually if there will be penetration, there will be a lot of natural lubricant produced. My body is really juicy, as I’ve mentioned before. So with my Sex on the Go Kit, I needed to have something more than just barriers for my partners. I need barriers for my environment too.

My local club uses puppy pads, which are just around for anyone to use. I loved this idea because it’s something I need for every scene that involves penetration. However, though this is good for a club, I wanted to reduce my impact on the environment because that’s very important to me. So instead, I use a waterproof sheet.

In my case, I use the Sheets of San Francisco. I love this sheet in particular for my safer sex kit because it folds up small. Unfolded, it’s 84″ x 100″ (that’s more than 7 feet by 8 feet, for those counting at home), but it folds to less than a cubic foot! It holds up to wear and tear, and it’s safe to be washed, so I always know that if something comes home with me, it will get washed away. My small items live in the make-up case and that acts as sort of a small, emergency kit. But it’s rare that I take just that kit. Instead, I’d much rather have a small tote with that kit, and my fluid-proof sheet.

Even though my Safer Sex Kit has expanded past my make-up case, it’s more than worth it to have all my bases covered (heh).

Indigo Tries the Dodil!

10 out of 10

Pairs well with a top shelf vodka. This can mix with almost anything and is so versatile that almost every drink benefits from it’s presence.

This toy was sent to me directly by Dodil. You can buy it from my friends at Betty’s Toybox, or directly from Dodil! They average around $65-75 (U.S. dollars).

A teal thermos is closed and sitting on a table. There is a wooden basket behind it. On the bottom of the thermos are the words Dodil in white letters.

Okay, so when I write reviews, I really try to see these toys from the perspective of someone who doesn’t have an entertainment system full of sex toys. The reason I do that is because I don’t write for bloggers (though I love them). I want to make my reviews as applicable for anyone who just happens to roll by. I am aware that when I started my blog, I had more sex toys than the average human. And I only had 6 at the time. So when I came across the Dodil, I was absolutely delighted. It can be almost any shape? It’s a pretty color? It comes with a cool thermos? The company is really awesome? I loved it already, which is something I have to admit so that you know my biases.

Then the Dodil arrived at my door. I was incredibly excited to try this toy…

And then I went through a break-up…

And then I was out of town…

But I came back and I finally felt able to go through the process of softening and reshaping the Dodil! I had been putting off the process because it takes about 30 minutes to soften, and for a month or so, my masturbation urges had not really perceived past maybe 2-3 minutes. Basically, when I wanted to get off, I wanted to just get it done. I didn’t want to take a silicone log and soften it and then wait and then shape it and then wait more. I wanted to get boned and then move on!

I’m sad at all the great masturbation sessions I missed out on now.

The Shapesperience

There is a teal thermos with water in it sitting on a table. The Dodil, which looks like a teal silicone log is inside. The lid is next to the thermos.

So the Dodil Website has a lot of good instructions and words, but let me tell you from a real, hands-on experience what shaping the Dodil is like. You open the thermos and there is a teal silicone log. It’s a weird and plain shape, probably awful as a sex toy. You put the kettle on. Make sure you have enough water for a cuppa, as well as the thermos. If you’re the type who doesn’t own a kettle, then just a pot of water will work. After the water boils, pour it into the thermos and close it. Make and enjoy that cuppa now. It takes the Dodil about 20-30 minutes to soften to shaping consistency.

Enjoyed your tea/coffee? Great! Now, Open that thermos. Be careful, because we put boiling hot water in there, remember? Pour that water out a little. Let the dildo cool (it only needs like 30 seconds or so). Then pull it out and set it down on a towel (again, about 30 seconds to a minute was good for me; waiting times may vary). After it’s all cool enough to touch, gently squeeze it into shape. You have about 20 minutes at average room temperature to shape the Dodil, so beware of that. But that gives you at least 15 minutes to sit there and squeeze it like a soft stress ball. You can use the string Dodil provides, or just your hands. I will warn you that if you want it to cool into any shape that isn’t “log,” you need to hold it somehow. When I was done playing with it, I held it in a good shape under a cool faucet. That hardened it quicker, but it did leave my hands a little numb.

Now, here’s a Snapple fact: The Dodil is likely to end up in a shape that won’t fit into the thermos. That’s okay. I’ve asked the kind folks there. I have been told that any container which closes will work, and nothing will react with the Dodil. As long as a container has a sealing lid and won’t react with hot water, it will hold the Dodil while it softens. That’s good to know because I was really worried about breaking my new favorite toy.

The Dodil sits in a wooden basket. It is shaped to have three sections with narrow bits between each section. It curves upward overall.

In Use

Well, I don’t know how to work on this section, to be honest. I normally talk about how a toy feels and the benefits and drawbacks of it’s shape. Here’s the thing though: The Dodil has no set shape. Therefore, all it’s drawbacks don’t really exist. I suppose one could argue that if it’s drawbacks don’t exist then neither do it’s benefits. However, the benefits rest it’s nature, which is to change. So suck it, philosophers. I love this toy.

What I can talk about is the silicone. It’s beautiful. I don’t just mean that delightful, inviting, not-pink-or-purple color. I mean that it’s silky and smooth. It’s a nice mat that invites you to stroke it, specifically while shaping. Dodil reminds us to use water-based lube with this toy. However, the reason isn’t the silicone (which is definitely safe). Their reason is that oil-based lubes are harder to wash off and can come off in the thermos or go down the drain, which is bad for the environment. THIS COMPANY IS MY NEW FAVORITE.

The String

The Dodil sits in a wooden basket with a plastic wire around it, holding it into a curved shape with ridges.

The Dodil sits in a wooden basket, with no wire, but it is solid in a curved shape with a lot of textured ridges.So the Dodil I received was an older version and came with a plastic wire…for lack of a better word. It was almost like using gimp. It was slippery and annoying. I wasn’t the only blogger that thought so either. So what did they do? Well, before I could complain about this thing, Dodil changed the string (after hearing this feedback). I almost feared the Apocalypse was at hand. A company actually calmly took some feedback and just changed their product to make it better? Holy business ethics Batman!!

To Finish Off

I truly think that the Dodil is an amazing product. I throw myself behind this concept 100%. I believe that just about anyone who likes penetration can find a shape they like with with toy. And if the shape you choose doesn’t work, you can make a new one! I love the ingenuity and the sincerity of the folx behind this product. 100% endorsed.

This toy was sent to me directly by Dodil. You can buy it from my friends at Betty’s Toybox, or directly from Dodil! They average around $65-75 (U.S. dollars).

 

 

Indigo Tries the Bijoux Indiscret’s Tassel Choker Brown

4 out of 10

Pairs nicely with a Blue Curacao. It sounds like it’s going to be amazing, and make anything better. But really, it’s just too much and overwhelms.

This was sent to me by Shevibe! If you enjoy it and want to buy it, consider buying it here in Black (which I did not receive) or Brown (which I did, and photos are below).

The Bijoux Indescrets Tassel Choker sits on a decorated bento box. It is plain tan leather strap with leather cords hanging from one ring in the middle of the strap. There is a box in the background that has the brand name on it.

So when I saw this item on the list available, I was really excited. I have heard about subtle fetish wear. I consider it the high-class kink coding of apparel. I saw that pretty brown color and I decided to add it to my list of requests, thinking I would wear it to every party and enjoy how my partner pulled on it. I pictured me in lovely outfits with this around my neck and casually drinking champagne. I was completely drawn in by that fancy name which rolls off the tongue in a french accent I don’t have: Bijoux Indescret.

When it showed up at my door, I was scheduled to go to a Burlesque show that night. So I went upstairs with my new fun accessory and I attempted to put together an outfit for it. I was up there for at least an hour. My gender feelings were off. Then that color didn’t match. I had the choker on, switching out shirt after shirt. Make-up or no? Should I put in earrings or is that too much?

As it turns out, this choker is hard to match with. The color is fairly easy, as it’s tan and that’s a neutral color. But the style is anything but neutral. It’s got long tassels and it evokes the idea of a long neck. It completely erases my hick nature just putting it on. But the problem is that I am not a fancy, high-class human. I have button ups, but they all have plaid. I have dress pants, but they are all really stretchy pants that happen to come in black. As it turns out, this high-class aesthetic is hard to match unless you’re going to a cocktail party.

Indigo with a knitted vest that has blue and red stripes. They are wearing the Bijoux Indescrets Tassel Choker and they have make-up on. In the background, there is a mirror which reflects the clasp of the choker on the largest setting.

I even took this choker to Playground Conference, which is a fetish event in many ways, but I still couldn’t find a way to wear it. I have to let myself down easy here: I may not be the best person for this gorgeous high-brow attire.

However, here’s another thought. Why should I be working so hard to fit this choker into my life? Perhaps Bijoux isn’t my aesthetic, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love a choker that is. Something like those weird wire criss-cross ones I used to own when I was 12. Perhaps a simpler silver chain. A leather cord with some subtle words etched into it. These are things that I could fit into an everyday look. I feel that I would wear them more and feel more like myself wearing them.

Now, if a fancy event comes up, will I be able to wear this piece? Oh absolutely. But until the local country club lowers it’s prices, or possibly someone rich sweeps me off my feet, I will have to let this sit in it’s box collecting dust.

So this choker is really not my style, and that might be enough to earn a 4 in some cases, but it’s not the real reason it’s a 4 right now. I have my biggest, fattest bone to pick, so lean back and get comfy. This choker is extremely small. I wore it on the last hole, and it was still tight. Honestly, I’m sure that’s 40-50% of the reason why I don’t think it fits my aesthetic. Because it doesn’t even fit on my neck. I would also like to say that this is not a sized product either. This is a one-size necklace. So if your neck is bigger than (roughly) 17.5″, you are shit out of luck here.

I am fairly tired of companies ignoring plus sized folx in their quest to make money. I would spend so much money to have some accessories that fit my body. So would all the fat folx in the world. So why does this company ignore us? Well, it’s probably lost in the past like so many others. This isn’t an overt aggression on their part. But it is an aggression in many ways. I have a lot of anger about this choker because I loved the style. I love the feel of it. It’s classy. It’s pretty. It’s dainty. But it just doesn’t fit. So I’m done trying to make this work for me. I shouldn’t have to work so hard to wear a necklace. Instead, I’m going to wear the cord necklaces I already own.

Enjoy, straight-sized folx. There’s something better somewhere else for me.

This was sent to me by Shevibe! If you enjoy it and want to buy it, consider buying it here in Black (which I did not receive) or Brown (which I did, and photos are below).