10 out of 10
This pairs nicely with a good light beer. If you’re trash like me, you use a domestic like Budweiser. But if you’re classier (god I hope so), then any light craft beer will do nicely. It has that sneaking up on you, prolonged effect. Great for a day when you have a lot of time to kill.
So first, let’s define edging for those who don’t know it! Edging is the act of pleasing your partner to the edge of an orgasm, but not to the point of orgasm. You could play this in an orgasm denial perspective, or a teasing perspective. I like both approaches and they feel very different for me! Sometimes, you physically pleasure them. Other times, you could order them to pleasure themselves or tease through text. All of these are great ways to experiment with edging!
So my first experience with edging involved me and a fantasy. Since I was still exploring, I edged myself almost to orgasm and then I stopped. However, I had nothing else to distract me, so after playing around on my phone for maybe a minute, I gave in and resumed masturbating. The orgasm was lack-luster because it lost momentum and I didn’t have enough time to gain it back. However, I was still intrigued by this idea. I’m very submissive, and it’s easy for me to love the idea of someone making me (or preventing me from) reaching orgasm. It’s jut so…out of control.
So I attempted it with my boyfriend at the time, but as it turns out, he’s a real nice guy and also got off on seeing me orgasm. So it didn’t really work. I gave up on edging for a long time. And then…I started texting a domly dude from Tinder and he asked the magic question: Are you into edging? So I gave him a rundown on my feelings, experiences and a strong “PLEASE GOD YES LET’S DO IT RIGHT NOW.” And we did.
So that night, he sent me a text. I had just gotten high and fucked myself like 6 times. I was truly out of control. And the he said “I hope it’s not too forward to ask, but I have an assignment for you. I want you to edge yourself 4 times at 10 minutes each. And then (and only then), you can have two orgasms.”
“…yes professor. :peach emoji; winking emoji:”
With my roommate on the couch downstairs, I went upstairs, grabbed my Doxy and edged myself for 10 minutes.
“One. That wasn’t so bad.” “Good.”
And then I watched an episode of the TV show my roommate and I were watching. I let her know I would need a break to edge for my new dom friend and we paused between that episode and the next.
“Two. Okay, that was tougher.” “Very good.”
One more episode. Food. Sex scene. I’m starting to feel my vulva swell easier than before. My pot is wearing off too.
“Three… Jesus this is so hard now.” “You’re doing great, kid.” “Woof.”
And because it was bedtime, I didn’t have TV to distract me. I sat down to do some work on a review. It was so hard to focus with my clit throbbing. But I said I would do it. It’s the last one, and I need at least 10 minutes between each session.
“Four. Oh my god I’m so ready to cum.” “Great job. A+. You can cum very soon.”
So I waited for 10 more cruel minutes. The clock slowed down. My work was half-assed. And then, I was finally able to crawl into bed with a vibrator and a dildo. I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t feel my legs for 20 minutes. I texted this new dom after each orgasm.
“Heck. I did it. I can’t feel my legs.” “100% completion. Great work.” “Thank you, professor.” “I’m glad I could help my student succeed in their goal.”
And at this point, we lose the thread because Indigo fucking melted into a puddle.
When I solidified again, I began to think about what I got from this kink. Well, I got what I expected. I got a great couple of orgasms. I got a really good submissive feeling. However, what I didn’t expect was a huge blossom of self-love that I experienced right after receiving the praise I was due. At first, I thought it was the praise that did it. Simple pride would be a good feeling.
This was different, though. I felt calm and at peace with my body and myself. I felt like I had meditated through physical mediums and I looked for why. As it turns out, in order to edge yourself, you have to be aware of your body. You have to learn it’s signals, and respect them. Since I’ve been going through Dialectical Behavioral Training, I recognized this as mindfulness (where my psychology geeks at?). I had listened to my body and my wants. I helped them align with my needs. As a result, I built a trust in myself just a little bit. It was more than I bargained for, but in the best way.
I immediately texted my dom about this and we de-briefed about the whole experience. What was good? What could be better? What terms felt natural? What terms felt forced? I told him about my mindfulness, but he isn’t a psychology nerd like me, so it went a little unnoticed. And instead, I texted some other sex geeks, and I got what I needed from them.
Being the type of person who wants all sides to an action, I immediately went to Twitter to ask about Edging from other folx. Specifically, I wanted some negative stories. Sometimes, when you don’t let yourself orgasm, but continue to stimulate, it can create an orgasm that is less fulfilling than if you just rush headfirst into the orgasm. Several people talked about losing orgasms completely from edging. A few folks even talked about feeling frustration or pain from edging. I want to point out that it’s important to listen to yourself. Edging may not be for you, and that is okay. I know that I can’t edge continuously for very long without experiencing frustration. I much prefer edging that lasts 10 minutes and then lets me back off. With this method, I have stronger orgasms because I feel paid attention to without being tortured. (I do love torturous play, but it is different.)
Even with all the bad parts of edging, I’m still a really big fan. I hope that my future partners will give me similar tasks, or edge me in person. Not only does it feel kinky and pleasant, but it also came with so many affirming emotions. If you enjoy teasing and being teased (which I certainly do), you may find yourself enjoying edging as well!