8 out 10
Pairs nicely with a Lemon Juice/Honey Cleansing Drink. It’s “all natural.”
So around May, I reached out to a few companies to get ready for my usual excursion to Colorado. In this event, I usually have limited access to running water and it’s hard to clean toys, or myself without hiking to another location. It’s great fun, living in the woods.
So I especially wanted to explore options around cleanliness that would mean less hiking. As much as I love toning up my ass, I want to be able to have a lazy wank sometimes, and this seemed like a good opportunity to ask for some products that I normally would not use. It’s not that I think these products are bad or don’t have their place. However, for me, they are a luxury. I live in a house and I am able-bodied. In fact, my bathroom is literally two steps outside my bedroom door. So something that helps me clean my toys or my own body are not really necessary. However, when the bathroom is hard to get to, or possibly doesn’t include running water, these products become more necessary.
First up, we have the Doc Johnson Natural Toy Cleaner. I chose this brand specifically because their instructions listed online include the words “or let air dry.” This tells me that the ingredients can sit on the toy instead of absolutely needing to be washed off like soap needs to be.
This spray instructs you to “not drench” the toy. I assume that is because it needs to dry, and having too much will impede that. Makes sense, right? I will admit that I struggle to not drench the toy because I don’t have the best surfaces to set my toys on. It usually ends up on my hands and sometimes my mattress as well. That said, it dries cleanly, and I have not noticed a film or stickiness left on the toys I’ve cleaned with it. After letting one set air dry, I cleaned the others using a paper towel to make sure they got really clean. This set included a highly-textured dildo, so I wanted to make sure all the nooks and crannies got cleaned. That worked just as well as air-drying the toys. So multiple methods helps those who absolutely need to be more active about their cleaning.
I even shot a tiny porn clip with a toy after using this to clean it (it was one of the air dried batch). The toy didn’t taste awful. I would not want to drink a bottle of this cleaner, but the taste of it was not offensive, which will make it a bit easier to clean toys between sex acts, or partners. It will also help with making my porn while I’m traveling.
I have since looked up each ingredient individually to make sure they are non-toxic. I probably should have done that before I put it in my mouth, but that is a clear illustration of my forethought. They say with their mouth full: “Can I eat this?” Each of the ingredients is a common anti-microbial, anti-fungal, preservative, or moisturizer. Most of them are used in food-related products or cosmetics. Th sanitizing agents are safe and the moisturizers will help clean toys without drying them out. This is important for toys made out of “real skin” materials that aren’t silicone. I don’t own those, but you might!
The next product I elected to test was the AfterGlow cleaning wipes. This product is almost like a baby wipe that is designed specifically for sex. I was a little skeptical at first of this product. Baby wipes are a part of my personal grooming arsenal and have been for many years. I didn’t feel like I needed something else on the table. This is especially true when I can get three packs of baby wipes at 70 wipes per pack for something like seven dollars, and one pack of AfterGlow with 20 is 10 dollars. That is 50 cents per wipe!
And then one day, someone made an off-hand comment about using baby wipes to keep clean before and after sex, to which a friend responded by looking absolutely horrified. I was really confused and then she said “Have you ever tasted baby wipe residue?” Baby wipes existed in a vacuum for me until that point. I mean, we really aren’t supposed to lick baby butts after cleaning them. Of course the producers don’t think about what the wipes taste like. When I use them to keep clean, it’s rarely because someone is about to stick their face between my thighs, because it’s tragically seldom that this happens anyway… But. I. Digress.
So I tried it.
Reader, let me save you some pain.
After this interaction, I understood the appeal of the AfterGlow wipes at their high price. They leave a very faint orange-y taste and smell. It is nowhere near as offensive as the residue that gets left behind by baby wipes.
As a result of this very scientific field test, I can affirm that the AfterGlow wipes are possibly worth the money you will spend on them. However, in general, I wouldn’t advise buying a lot of them. A baby wipe will suffice, unless you are planning to give or receive oral on the surface you use them on. Save a little money by getting the three pack. Those in the store may assume you’re expecting or have kids, but at least you’re saving money while getting laid.
Once all is said, I could recommend both of these items in the incident that you need something like them. I don’t feel especially compelled to purchase them regularly, but when I need something like these, I suspect these two products will be a go-to.