Indigo Tries the Creamed and Sugared Verona!

10 out of 10
Pairs nicely with a Tequila Sunrise. This piece looks attractive, and has a smooth finish. Universal for many reasons, and brings together some beautiful elements.
This toy was sent to me in exchange for a fair and honest review. All the opinions here are my own. If you would like to purchase your own, you can do so here for about $65 (USD) at time of posting.
The Creamed and Sugared Verona is sitting on a dark green pillow. The paddle is the standard inch thick, about a hand span wide and about three hand spans long. It has a slightly ornate shape with one shallow point for the head. Just below that point, there is a cut out on each side in the shape of a crescent. These cut outs could clearly accommodate the shape of a wrist.
So the folks at Creamed and Sugared tabled at Woodhull this year, and since I was a volunteer, it wasn’t until day two or three that I actually managed to make it into the vendor area, Let me tell you, I am sad I was delayed. I originally began chatting with Austin who told me about their products and how they started. I was ecstatic to see something new on the market. I immediately fell in love with the Rose and Thorn, which has several functions. We all know how much I love versatile products that manage to pull off several different types of sensations or uses and do it well.
So of course, I let them know I was a blogger and that I wanted to review for them. This is partially because they are local to me, which feels rare in this industry. But also, I just genuinely wanted to review their products, which looked to be lovely, and of good quality. Of course, I do have a fondness for wood, especially in a sexual and kink context. There is something about how much can be done with a wooden paddle. And if that paddle is designed to do many different things, then I just…swoon!
So after a few emails back and forth, I acquired two products. The other will be a surprise until I post that review. But today, I want to focus on the Verona. Because I am local, I don’t have any insight on packaging or shipping from these folx. I met up with them at an event for the hand-off and shoved the paddle into my bag. I was glad to have a bag as big as I did, because I always underestimate the size of impact toys somehow. The Verona is about five inches wide and 14 inches long. Honestly, it is the perfect length for a simple impact toy. I have reviewed longer toys, such as the Funkit Beat Cleaver which provides an ample opportunity for swing control. But the Verona is a different type of toy altogether.
The Verona has some chance for alternate thwacking by changing the grip, but the handle is much shorter, so there isn’t as much variation as the 12″ of the Beat Cleaver. Additionally, it lacks the sideways ability that the Beat Cleaver offers. Unless you wanted to puncture the receiver, I would only use this flat as an impact toy. Those points would probably prove too much for me unless I was very deep into subspace. And I do mean the kind of sub space where I would enjoy any sensation at all. The flat of this toy has a nice sting to it, but it doesn’t offer anything that I haven’t achieved with my other paddles.
Okay, so the Verona as an impact toy is good, but somewhat basic. However, it has another major selling point that I love. There are two curved cutouts in the edge of the Verona near the head, one on each side. They are wide enough that one can use them to catch a hand, or an ankle, or even a neck if the receiver is small enough. It’s actually possible to pin someone’s hand somewhere with the Verona, which is a delightful feature of this toy. Though it remains simple as a paddle, this feature, plus the great price really bumped the Verona into a 10 for me.
The Verona sitting with the handle up with one blue teacup on each side on top of a green cloth backdrop.
I used this toy in a public play space after showing it off to a few people. Despite my love of deep impact and heavy woods, I was okay with the feel of zebra wood, which is slightly lighter than I usually prefer. It was completely made up for because the patterns are fantastic. I t creates a beautiful and striking paddle to show off. On top of the brilliant choice in the wood, I can feel the quality of the craftsmanship in the paddle as I hold it. There is a beautiful shellac finish, which leaves the paddle shiny and begging for use. It also happens to be body-safe with just soap and water cleaning, which is part of the standard sealing process over at Creamed and Sugared.
All in all, I love the Verona. It’s easy to use and clean, with a great feeling in my hands, and on my butt. The price is very good for the product that I received. I love the way they work with the wood to emphasize it’s selling points, and they offer maintenance on their own products (for a small fee), so you never have worry about ruining it through DIY methods. I certainly have a new company to add to my list of favorites!
This toy was sent to me in exchange for a fair and honest review. All the opinions here are my own. If you would like to purchase your own, you can do so >here for about $65 (USD) at time of posting.

Indigo Tries the Funkit Pride Beat Cleaver 12"

10 out of 10
Would recommend for most people who enjoy being hit with things.
Pairs well with a neat bourbon. Specifically Wild Turkey.
CONSENT AND TRIGGER WARNING: THIS POST DISCUSSES CONSENSUAL HARM AND PUNISHMENT. THERE ARE ALSO PICTURES OF A (REALLY GREAT) BUTT WITH BRUISES ON IT FURTHER DOWN THIS POST. 
So I kind of love rainbows. I wouldn’t call it a problem so much as a solution. I fucking love rainbows. So when I ran across Kenton’s work at Funkit Toys, I had to have something rainbow. SOMETHING. And since I had been using wooden spoons from Wegmans as paddles, I decided that I needed something wood. Something big. Something rainbow.
And so I whipped it out (my credit card) and I bought the Beat Cleaver 12″. It is big. It is wood. It is rainbow. And my god, does it pack a punch.
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It costs $32 dollars from the shop, and it shipped to me in about two days. When I opened up the package, I definitely danced a little, and it didn’t come in any special box, so I went straight from opening to whacking my legs experimentally with it. Ah, that is the pleasure of small toy companies. No stupid blister packs to cut open.
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I won’t mince words: This paddle is tough. the handle is a foot long. The hitty-part (scientific term) is another foot. For those keeping score at home, that’s 2 feet of momentum here. If you hold that handle at the very end, oh my god, there is going to be a lot of force really quickly. To mitigate that, choke up on the handle, using the section right near that hitty-part and that makes it mush more controlled.
Honestly though, that’s not the REAL reason I’m in love with this paddle. The real reason is flexibility. I seem to have an attraction to things that are two-in-one. If you hit with the flat part of this paddle, it’s likely that you’ll get stung before any real bruising can happen. It is so satisfying for me, and I love working up to getting all that stinging into my legs and butt. Also, even though I don’t really bruise, it did leave this wonderfully dark place on my butt.

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It’s hard to get a good butt photo. I haven’t bought a selfie stick yet. #slacking

However, if you used the edge of this paddle, it’s so different. Using it this way is very thuddy. Since I don’t really bruise (thanks genetics), I can’t see the effects, but I feel every hit from this side the next day. I live for the mornings where I wake up with sub-dermal bruising all over my back and thighs. These are perfect opportunities for my boyfriend to touch me and I get shivers all over from it.
I have had this paddle for about three months now and I have used it steadily. Typically, it gets used about once a week, sometimes more. Mine has shown zero wear and tear. It’s still vibrantly colored with the varnishing still intact. As far as I can tell, this paddle will be inherited by my family after I die. It will raise plenty of questions and offer few answers, I’m sure.
All in all, the versatility and longevity of this paddle make it a really great buy. I just spent some money on some silicone toys from Kenton, and I can’t wait to give them a shot!
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Here’s a bone-us photo of my butt in case you forgot how great it is. Also, bonus funderwear. EVERYONE GETS A BONUS.