Indigo Talks Relationships Part 1: Dad

This isn’t a review, so much as an essay, so there is no rating here.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, but more specifically about my non-romantic/sexual relationships. It was partially inspired by my sister who suggested I write about how our relationship has evolved and grown over the years. And so I wanted to start writing about the influences of other relationships in my life. I enjoy exploring the relationships of my life and how they affect me because I always work to be more self-aware. Part of that journey is understanding what influenced my personality development. I decided to start with my father because he’s the origin of a lot of trauma for me, and because he is dead. So in a way, this relationship story has an ending to it. This makes it somewhat easier to write about.

In many ways, I am like my father. He was a hick kid who never really finished education, and he always seemed to butt heads with authority. Since I was raised by him, I do still fight against authority, and I’m not particularly good at doing what I’m told, unless I see the reason behind the order. As for the hick, well…it’s in my bones. I know what I am. I enjoy cheap beer and porches. I like to be outside around a fire. Camping is my ideal vacation. These feel like “simple pleasures” that I love. I don’t rely on my phone like many others rely on theirs. I often isolate myself from others because society is weird and confusing. But I am finishing my education. Because I started a process and I will finish it, which differs me from my father. I have been contemplating that difference as I watch my mother finally fix her house, which was torn apart by my father’s attempts to improve it. He rarely finished those improvement projects. It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I saw my father surrounded by his unfinished work and decided I would never do that. I look at his memory, which is weighed down with a dismantled truck, a mantle piece in pieces in the basement, and a wood pile that was gonna be something great. I see that, and I decide it’s time to tie up loose ends.

My dad always taught me to question things, though I was never supposed to question him. He also favored me over my siblings, but also yelled at me because I was fat. He often yelled at me for eating things as a child because he believe that I should lose weight instead of eating meals. He rewarded me for academic accomplishments but got angry when I read books I enjoyed for fun. The contradictions in my psyche have been contributed by others, but they primarily stem from my father’s treatment of me. There is a strong possibility that this volatile nature stems from him being a functioning alcoholic. That’s something else I could be, but I’m not. I hold my liquor and I’m not shy around drinks, but I don’t depend on it the way he did. The contradictions my father left me with were only exacerbated by his death. I was 12 years old, and had not quite started puberty yet. I still loved my father when he died. However, without any growth in our relationship, I was left with a loose end I couldn’t tie. He never apologized for abusing us. He never learned how to be a better husband. After two years, I finally admitted to myself that my father was a good father and a terrible husband. It would take another eight years before I admitted that he wasn’t a good father, but I still loved him with all my heart.

Because of this, I am more likely to accept contradictions in my life. I easily learned about the contradictions of opinions in any humanities class. My papers in those classes were well-received because I considered many opinions, often agreeing with two or more. I also move through relationships differently because I can accept contradictions in other humans. I acknowledge how complicated people are and notice the little contradictions that they miss in themselves. However, it also means that my own contradictions get overlooked. I can become unpredictable sometimes because two strong feelings contradict each other, much to the despair of my partners. It means that I come with a lot of disclaimers in relationships. I’ve had to learn how to navigate relationships by the moment, offering brief explanations to justify my own twists and turns.

My father taught me a lot about respect, which I still hold true to. Respect continues to be an important aspect of relationships for me. If I don’t respect someone, I probably won’t like them. If they don’t respect me, I really won’t like them. I find that I can respect someone even if I don’t like them, which ties into the contradictions that got built into my relationships. This is an interesting piece of my relationships. Because I hold respect as such a virtue, it means that I follow partners I respect, and trust them inherently with their well-being. I will sometimes trust them with my own, but my independence is more important than my respect. However, it’s when I lose respect for a partner that reveals what respect means to me. This happened with one of my exes. I lost respect for him gradually, over months. Eventually, I didn’t trust him to take care of himself at all. I felt like a mother to him, and it led to a devastating break-up. Before the end, I didn’t respect him. I wasn’t sure I liked him. But I still loved him. The contradictions created were unhealthy for both of us. To hold something like respect in such an important place is to make it a vulnerability of the relationship. It means that my partners will have to hold themselves to standards. This is most certainly a good thing. However, it can become dangerous if I’m not aware of when respect is lost.

My personality is still growing every day. My father has been dead for almost 14 years, and his influences on my life are starting to fade. I have grown and changed, and my relationship to him has changed. The difference is that his relationship to me cannot change because he is gone. As I grow away from who I was when he died, the ways he changed me will begin to be overwritten. Other life experiences will help me unlearn some contradictions. Respect will slowly become less of a virtue as I gain compassion for others. Even though these fading effects are part of me deeply and will never go away entirely, they are still becoming obsolete to the new influences I gain every day. In some ways, these are the most comforting parts of my father’s death. It’s cliche, but he is still with me in these core values and personality traits. But more than that, I am growing beyond him. I am becoming more that he was just by virtue of how I continue to thrive and grow.

There are many people I’ll mention who influence my personality. In fact, that’s the point of this series. But when I talk about my father, it takes on a different color because of the loss. In a way, the loss of him becomes a part of him. In my mind, he is everything he was, plus his death. That death might have changed me more than he did. I’m now the person who stays strong in grief. I’ve learned how to let go of others who want to be let go of. I’ve learned how to cope earlier than others. Most importantly, I’m no longer paralyzed in fear when I think of death. I have confronted my own mortality in many instances by this point. I can connect with those who are grieving and it does not bother me or feel like a revelation.

In short, I loved my dad. He had issues and I have issues because of him. But he was important to me and always will be. I learned many lessons from him that I couldn’t learn from anyone else. He is, like many things, a blessing and a curse. So long, pop. And thanks for all the fun.

Woodhull Sponsor Call 2019

Hey everyone! It’s that time of year again when I start calling for Sponsors to get me to the places I want to go! You might notice this post is very similar to last year’s call for sponsors, but there are differences that are important, so pay attention!
My name is Indigo Wolfe. I am a successful and lovely growing sexuality blogger. You’ve successfully made it to my blog, but I want to tell you a bit more. I’m a student in a local D.C. university studying sexuality, sex and psychology. I have made many connections and grown so much since starting my blog, I am looking to attend Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit once again. At Woodhull, I meet many bloggers and create a professional support network that has become invaluable to me. I want to attend again, so I can connect with more fellow bloggers, learn about this industry, and possibly promote a great product/service. Perhaps this product/service could be yours.
I have done the calculations. As a D.C. native and local, I don’t require too much to make it to Woodhull. I need room, money for food and other fun things, and some extra to compensate for work. I have added these up, and it comes out to a top number of $700. I’m looking to cover costs entirely, and there are bonuses if I exceed my costs. If I receive more than 700$ from any combination of sponsors, I will place all of the extra into donations to Woodhull, as well as helping other bloggers struggling reach Woodhull.
This year comes with a catch, however. Because of my new unique role with Woodhull, I cannot in good conscious promote someone at the actual event. I have become the face for a specific part of Woodhull and it makes it unethical for me to favor one company over another in that role. To that end, all promotion of your company that happens over social media will be done outside of Woodhull (either before or after the summit in August).
Why Should You Sponsor Me?
1.) I am growing steadily as a blogger. My follower count has more than doubled in the past year, and grows a little bit every day. My promotion is good for you.
2.) My cost is low. As a D.C. local, I don’t need travel money, and as a con regular, I know how to eat on a budget. I’m also volunteering for Woodhull, both to help this fantastic foundation, and so that my costs are lower.
3.) I am working on many fronts for sexual freedom and sex advocacy. Every bit of work I accomplish helps those around me. Your money towards me gets paid forward into the community at large. This is done through my online education, local workshops and fighting for sex worker rights, among other projects I undertake.
What Do You Get?
I have such a low cost that I have only a few levels of support that I’m offering.
$100 – 1 month of:
I will advertise for your company on Twitter. I will tweet 6 tweets promoting your company during that month. I will review 1 toy/service for you, which will include no follow links to your website or store.
$300 – 3 months of:
I will tweet 6 tweets per month promoting your company. I will review a total of 3 toys/services for you, which will include no follow links to your website or store.
B-B-BONUS TIER $350
If you purchase this tier, I will finally get my act together and create sidebar ad space, where you can advertise your company. For only this $50 addition, you’ll get 2 months of sidebar ads (normally worth $150).
$700 – From now to Woodhull 
I will advertise for your company in my about page, and sidebar. Yes, I will get my act together within this month and create sidebar advertising space. Then you will receive 6 months of ad space! I will tweet 6 tweets per month promoting your company (excluding August). I will review 1 toy/service per month for you (including 1 in the month of August).
If you would like to sponsor me at any level, or discuss other ways we can work together, please email me at IndigoWolfeadult@gmail.com

Indigo Investigates Vulva Ejaculation

10 out of 10
Pairs well with late nights and strong coffee. When you get to the bottom of something, you need both of those.
Recently, I have been having a lot of orgasms, thanks to the miracle of testosterone. Not only do I always want sex, but I commonly use sex as stress relief because apparently, I physiologically can’t cry anymore. Like, the emotions are there, but the release isn’t? This is fine. I’m fine.
But it inspired me to research ejaculation in bodies with vulvae, because that is not a subject that is often talked about. When it is talked about, there’s a lot of discussion about “controversy.” Because I am a student and a scholar, I have finally done some solid research in the databases available to me and I have found several scientific articles and studies relating to female ejaculation, and as a bonus, I’ll also discuss the Grafenburg Spot (G-Spot).
Let me start with my personal adventure. I have often been described as “juicy” by my partners. I produce a lot of natural lubricant and when I orgasm, I often ejaculate or “squirt.” Let me tell you, waterproof sheets saved my life. I began to hear the words G-Spot and squirting when I worked at a sex shop. I was curious about this, so I did some fast internet research. I found that it is somewhat common, but not everyone does this. I felt a bit lucky because it came up in porn so much, and I assumed it was desirable. It is actually a pain to deal with because I kept ruining sheets. My laundry stacked up fast.
After becoming a blogger and really exploring my body with new toys, I realized that this “squirting” thing wasn’t new to me and I had been doing big orgasms this whole time. So I began to lean into this concept of using layers of towels, and I started using my Pure Wand with more excitement. In those moments when I really need a good cry, I’d reach for my Pure Wand and fuck myself until I was dehydrated from squirting. It wears me out and gives me a cathartic release that normally, yelling into a pillow in agony would. Thank the gods for this cathartic release.
So what does ejaculation feel like? Well, instead of feeling the stimulation in my labia or clit, I often feel it deeper and…higher? Like instead of crotch feeling good, the area within my pubic mound feels good. It can sometimes be almost painful, but I like the intensity. When I orgasm from G-Spot stimulation, I am almost guaranteed to squirt. Well, to be honest, I gush, really. It sometimes projects out, but that is usually helped with thrusting. Normally, it just sort of rushes like a tiny waterfall. A twaterfall, if you will. Instead of tingling and pulling up, I feel a push down and my whole body tenses deeply.
Sometimes, my ejaculate is odorless and cloudy. Sometimes, it smells a bit like urine, or even just how my vagina smells that day. I don’t worry about what it smells like, beyond just checking in with my body. If it smells really bad, then I worry I have an infection, but if it’s just a little bit like pee, I’m not worried. After all, I know that ejaculate does void through the urethra, so it makes sense that it would smell a bit like urine, which also voids that way.
So I experience this. Big deal, right? WRONG. Here’s the truth: there are many many people with vulvae that experience the same thing! I consistently hear about many people who quirt, whose G-Spots swell during sex, who can’t orgasm without stimulation there. So it’s not just me. And the sample size is not small, despite what people say.
So I turned to the research. There is surprisingly little on this phenomenon, which doesn’t surprise me. There is research enough to confirm it might exist. The only reason to research would be to understand it better, which isn’t tied to life-saving science, but social justice science. Most of the studies around sex are related to bodies with penises, and in order for this to be studied, it would shift the focus, which removes privilege. As a result, the studies aren’t funded. It’s “not important” according to the powers that be. This is my personal opinion, but I’m willing to bet that I’m not alone in this train of thought.
Though there are many studies that say female ejaculation is real and the G-Spot has plausible evidence to be investigated, there are still people saying that it isn’t real. And to have my experiences (and many others’) invalidated is wrong. You can’t tell me that so many people with vulvae just don’t know their bodies or just don’t understand sex. I have sex a lot. And I know my body well enough to know you are the one who is wrong. My purchase of a sex sheet is NOT in vain.
Here’s what the science actually says. The Kamasutra mentions “when she feels him moving in a certain spot inside her, the pleasure of that touch makes her eyes whirl around in a circle.” So there is a clear space in the vagina that is arguably more sensitive or responsive. Well that makes sense because the vagina is surrounded by many different organs, glands and nerve paths. However, it has been consistently found by many people in the same general area. So there’s a historical context for the G-Spot existing, at least for some.
In 1981, a gynecologist named Martin Weisberg at a conference heard about female ejaculation and didn’t believe it. He went to the speakers of the panel and asked if it was true. They not only confirmed it, but showed him some subjects who were willing to demonstrate in person. It was so compelling that he later wrote a note in The Journal of Sex Research about how gynecologists were not helping their clients if they didn’t know about ejaculation. He went so far as to posit that in the future, there would be laughter about the debate of female ejaculation. I can only hope, my friend.
In 1981, there was another paper published regarding a case study, which means just one person. Addeigo and company studied a woman who consistently released fluid when she had sex with her husband. They wanted to know what it was and if it could be related to the G-Spot. So they manually stimulated her G-Spot and she ejaculated as a response. This was in a controlled environment with similar stimulation each time. They gathered the fluid and studied it’s contents. They found that though it had some similar components to urine (urea, glucose, cretinine), it was largely Prostatic Acid Phosphatase. This chemical literally has “prostate” in the name. Which means it’s not a primary ingredient in urine. Later, it was hypothesized that this fluid comes from a series of glands that are biologically analogous to the prostate in typical penis-owners. This is why the G-Spot is sometimes called “the female prostate.” You can get out with your over-simplified, gendered bullshit.
So if these people see it, where’s the counterarguments? In my research, I found one article which I could access that had creative scientific counterpoints. It was written by a Terence Hines. In this one article, Hines mentioned a lack of historical mention of the G-Spot (which I have already disproved in my discussing the Kamasutra. This same article also discusses how there is a lack of scientific studies around the G-Spot. Those which exist are primarily anecdotal often has small sample sizes. Well, most phenomenon were stories before they were studies. How about we get some proper funding, and proper scientists on this, eh?
His last argument was regarding nerve endings. Hines discusses the lack of nerve endings around the vagina, which means it’s unlikely that it will be a center of deep sensations which many people with vulvae describe. Except so many people describe the sensation as deeper and not the same as other stimulation. So I hate to break it to you, Hines, but you’re looking for nerve endings in the wrong spot.
Basically, we just need to listen to people with vulvae. We know our own bodies. Even if the scientists get funding and prove the G-Spot doesn’t exisit, would you use that as an excuse to not pleasure someone in a way they enjoy? Do you really feel the need to be right over the desire to please a partner? Why?
This post was written in collaboration with Sheets of San Francisco. The research was my own work and opinions are my own. These sheets have been my best toy, which I use every time I masturbate. If you also squirt, or want to, pick some up.

Indigo Tries the Womanizer Starlet

4 out of 10
Pairs well with a middle-shelf white rum. Something like Bacardi. It’s not the worst out there, but there will definitely be people who object.
This toy was sent to me by Betty’s Toybox in exchange for an honest review. You can buy it in pink or purple (because those are the colors women get), or white (because they needed another color, but didn’t want us to forget our gender assignments. 
The Womanizer Starlet sits in a clear plastic case. The Starlet is about three and a half inches tall with a nozzle for suction. It is while with silver accents.
When I had a chance to review something from Womanizer, I jumped on it, honestly. I hate the name they chose for this brand, and I know several people who can’t even use it because it’s just too much dysphoria. I am gender-fluid, so it does not affect me quite as strongly, but jesus do you HAVE to, companies? So yes, sit back and prepare for a small rant about the Starlet and gendering toys in general. Because gendering toys is unnecessary and I am mad about it.
Now, you’re probably wondering about why I’m so mad. After all, I feel such a minimal amount of body-related angst because I’m gender-fluid. I find that I can roll with most gender feelings and I don’t ever feel like mis-gendering me causes me pain. It just shows me how careless you are. But, I do want to emphasize how unique I am in this aspect. I know too many people who feel like they are compromised at every turn. They question the toys they are supposed to use and the companies that they should trust. It’s not just down to feeling safe in a bathroom. It’s about feeling safe in your own home. In your own bed. In your own skin.
The unnecessary gendering of something like a sex toy is only a passive attack and a microaggression against an entire community that is already struggling under the current society and the administration that runs it.
So hey, companies, maybe STOP BEING SO AWFUL, OKAY?
And now that I’ve ranted about that, I can maybe review this product?
The Womanizer Starlet sits on a paisley cloth. It's face up, so the nozzle can be seen clearly. There is a small rubber cover near the bottom which covers the charging port.Since I reviewed the Satisfyer line, I have been dying to try the Womanizer brand. I’ve heard that Womanizer is better somehow, and I wanted to give them a fair shake to see if it was true. I can’t resist a good comparison. Womanizer was arguably the first suction-based sex toy, and I love the genuinely revolutionary nature of their product. I believe that they introduced something many people enjoy, which had not been done before (or at least done well).
Now, the Starlet is a smaller version of their original concept. I think of it as the bullet vibe version of a clit suction toy. It costs less at $80 and it only has one button to cycle through all the settings. Marketing says it’s specifically designed to “fit in a handbag.” Now, I’m going to take all the gender assumptions in this product and I’m going to ball them up real tight, wrap them in foil to stop their radiation, and toss them into the garbage where they belong. PLEASE STOP NOW.
Okay this is fine. I’m fine. So let’s get to the actual product. I am fat. For context, I weigh in around 270 on a light day, I’m 5’9″ and I have some broad shoulders. I’m pretty sure I can only use the Starlet properly because I was a dancer, which gives me some flexibility in my back and shoulders. The Starlet is inconveniently small. I mention in my Satisfyer review that egg-shaped toys are a garbage idea, right there next to gendering things. The Starlet is roughly egg shaped, but the suction nozzle sticks out more. This is good because it’s less likely to go swimming in my labia, but it’s actually smaller than the Satisfyer, so it’s harder to grip. I suppose that evens out somehow?
I’ve been trying to use this toy for literal months now. I’m honestly behind on my review, and I feel bad about it. But I really wanted to try liking this toy. I’ve used it with partners, I’ve used it solo. I just cannot find any good use for this toy. Just like the Satisfyers, I find it to feel like nothing unless I turn it up way too much and then it feels like pain. My clit is actively trying to run away from these toys, and they just surround it with vibration and awful. Every orgasm I’ve gotten with this style of toy is just meh, and sometimes comes with pain. I have never had the mind-blowing orgasms I was promised, and I’m really not okay with trying so hard for such stupid orgasms.
The Womanizer Starlet sits on a paisley cloth. It faces away from the camera, which shows the back has a single button near the bottom and the rubber is embossed with a W.
Let me be honest: this toy has one thing that I really like about it: The charging port. This toy charges with a micro-USB cable and when I found that out, I lost my shit. Seriously, it is the bane of so many reviewers to have random, one-use cables around. They are all white or black (except Fun Factory is red, which is a blessing). And for this to use a cable that I have, which is useful for other things is extraordinary. I don’t have to immediately label it with “WOMANIZER STARLET” lest I lose the cable and need to reunite them. For $80, I would like to enjoy more than just the charging cable.
In short, I think that this toy is just as useless as the Satisfyer line, but with twice as much gendered marketing. That’s why it’s score is so much lower and I’m not sorry about it.
This toy was sent to me by Betty’s Toybox in exchange for an honest review. You can buy it in pink or purple (because those are the colors women get), or white (because they needed another color, but didn’t want us to forget our gender assignments. 
 

Indigo Tries the Dodil!

10 out of 10
Pairs well with a top shelf vodka. This can mix with almost anything and is so versatile that almost every drink benefits from it’s presence.
This toy was sent to me directly by Dodil. You can buy it from my friends at Betty’s Toybox, or directly from Dodil! They average around $65-75 (U.S. dollars).
A teal thermos is closed and sitting on a table. There is a wooden basket behind it. On the bottom of the thermos are the words Dodil in white letters.
Okay, so when I write reviews, I really try to see these toys from the perspective of someone who doesn’t have an entertainment system full of sex toys. The reason I do that is because I don’t write for bloggers (though I love them). I want to make my reviews as applicable for anyone who just happens to roll by. I am aware that when I started my blog, I had more sex toys than the average human. And I only had 6 at the time. So when I came across the Dodil, I was absolutely delighted. It can be almost any shape? It’s a pretty color? It comes with a cool thermos? The company is really awesome? I loved it already, which is something I have to admit so that you know my biases.
Then the Dodil arrived at my door. I was incredibly excited to try this toy…
And then I went through a break-up…
And then I was out of town…
But I came back and I finally felt able to go through the process of softening and reshaping the Dodil! I had been putting off the process because it takes about 30 minutes to soften, and for a month or so, my masturbation urges had not really perceived past maybe 2-3 minutes. Basically, when I wanted to get off, I wanted to just get it done. I didn’t want to take a silicone log and soften it and then wait and then shape it and then wait more. I wanted to get boned and then move on!
I’m sad at all the great masturbation sessions I missed out on now.
The Shapesperience
There is a teal thermos with water in it sitting on a table. The Dodil, which looks like a teal silicone log is inside. The lid is next to the thermos.
So the Dodil Website has a lot of good instructions and words, but let me tell you from a real, hands-on experience what shaping the Dodil is like. You open the thermos and there is a teal silicone log. It’s a weird and plain shape, probably awful as a sex toy. You put the kettle on. Make sure you have enough water for a cuppa, as well as the thermos. If you’re the type who doesn’t own a kettle, then just a pot of water will work. After the water boils, pour it into the thermos and close it. Make and enjoy that cuppa now. It takes the Dodil about 20-30 minutes to soften to shaping consistency.
Enjoyed your tea/coffee? Great! Now, Open that thermos. Be careful, because we put boiling hot water in there, remember? Pour that water out a little. Let the dildo cool (it only needs like 30 seconds or so). Then pull it out and set it down on a towel (again, about 30 seconds to a minute was good for me; waiting times may vary). After it’s all cool enough to touch, gently squeeze it into shape. You have about 20 minutes at average room temperature to shape the Dodil, so beware of that. But that gives you at least 15 minutes to sit there and squeeze it like a soft stress ball. You can use the string Dodil provides, or just your hands. I will warn you that if you want it to cool into any shape that isn’t “log,” you need to hold it somehow. When I was done playing with it, I held it in a good shape under a cool faucet. That hardened it quicker, but it did leave my hands a little numb.
Now, here’s a Snapple fact: The Dodil is likely to end up in a shape that won’t fit into the thermos. That’s okay. I’ve asked the kind folks there. I have been told that any container which closes will work, and nothing will react with the Dodil. As long as a container has a sealing lid and won’t react with hot water, it will hold the Dodil while it softens. That’s good to know because I was really worried about breaking my new favorite toy.
The Dodil sits in a wooden basket. It is shaped to have three sections with narrow bits between each section. It curves upward overall.
In Use
Well, I don’t know how to work on this section, to be honest. I normally talk about how a toy feels and the benefits and drawbacks of it’s shape. Here’s the thing though: The Dodil has no set shape. Therefore, all it’s drawbacks don’t really exist. I suppose one could argue that if it’s drawbacks don’t exist then neither do it’s benefits. However, the benefits rest it’s nature, which is to change. So suck it, philosophers. I love this toy.
What I can talk about is the silicone. It’s beautiful. I don’t just mean that delightful, inviting, not-pink-or-purple color. I mean that it’s silky and smooth. It’s a nice mat that invites you to stroke it, specifically while shaping. Dodil reminds us to use water-based lube with this toy. However, the reason isn’t the silicone (which is definitely safe). Their reason is that oil-based lubes are harder to wash off and can come off in the thermos or go down the drain, which is bad for the environment. THIS COMPANY IS MY NEW FAVORITE.
The String
The Dodil sits in a wooden basket with a plastic wire around it, holding it into a curved shape with ridges.
The Dodil sits in a wooden basket, with no wire, but it is solid in a curved shape with a lot of textured ridges.So the Dodil I received was an older version and came with a plastic wire…for lack of a better word. It was almost like using gimp. It was slippery and annoying. I wasn’t the only blogger that thought so either. So what did they do? Well, before I could complain about this thing, Dodil changed the string (after hearing this feedback). I almost feared the Apocalypse was at hand. A company actually calmly took some feedback and just changed their product to make it better? Holy business ethics Batman!!
To Finish Off
I truly think that the Dodil is an amazing product. I throw myself behind this concept 100%. I believe that just about anyone who likes penetration can find a shape they like with with toy. And if the shape you choose doesn’t work, you can make a new one! I love the ingenuity and the sincerity of the folx behind this product. 100% endorsed.
This toy was sent to me directly by Dodil. You can buy it from my friends at Betty’s Toybox, or directly from Dodil! They average around $65-75 (U.S. dollars).
 
 

Woodhull Sponsor Call 2018

Hello!
My name is Indigo Wolfe. I’m a small, but growing sexuality blogger. You’ve successfully made it to my blog, but I want to tell you a bit more. I’m a student in a local D.C. university studying sexuality, sex and psychology. Though I have made many connections and grown so much, I am looking to attend Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit once again. At Woodhull last year, I met many bloggers and created a professional support network that has become invaluable to me. I also learned a great deal about the industry I work in. I want to attend again, so I can connect with more fellow bloggers, learn about this industry, and possibly promote a great product/service. Perhaps this product/service could be yours.
I have done the calculations. As a D.C. native and local, I don’t require too much to make it to Woodhull. I need room, money for food and other fun things, and some extra to compensate for work. I have added these up, and it comes out to a top number of $700. I’m looking to cover costs entirely, and there are bonuses if I exceed my costs. If I receive more than 700$ from any combination of sponsors, I will place all of the extra into donations to Woodhull, as well as helping other bloggers struggling reach Woodhull.
Why Should You Sponsor Me?
1.) I’m still fairly new to the scene. I have little to no bias in toys and toy companies. I have been neutral in all reviews I post, including products that I have received directly from companies. If you don’t believe me, look at this review.
2.) My cost is low. As a D.C. local, I don’t need travel money, and as a con regular, I know how to eat on a budget. I’m also volunteering for Woodhull, both to help this fantastic foundation, and so that my costs are lower.
3.) I’ve worked in customer service for 10 years. I am good at working with people. I smile at everyone, and I laugh at every joke. I have the manners and attitude of a human you want to represent your brand. (Though I’ll be the first to admit that you may want to write the promotional tweets because my charm does not translate to the web.)
What Do You Get?
I have such a low cost that I have only a few levels of support that I’m offering.
$100 – 1 month of:
I will advertise for your company in my about page, and sidebar. I will tweet 4 tweets promoting your company during that month. I will review 1 toy/service for you. 3-4 tweets during Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit with your chosen hashtag.
$300 – 3 months of:
I will advertise for your company in my about page, and sidebar. I will tweet 6 tweets per month promoting your company. I will review a total of 3 toys/services for you. 9-12 tweets during Woodhull Sexual Freedom summit with your chosen hashtag.
$700 – From now to Woodhull  Removed for time constraints
I will advertise for your company in my about page, and sidebar. I will tweet 6 tweets per month promoting your company (including August). I will review 1 toy/service per month for you (including 1 in the month of August). An exclusive hashtag for you, which I will use in tweets beginning in July, leading up to, and throughout Woodhull.
If you would like to sponsor me at any level, or discuss other ways we can work together, please email me at IndigoWolfeadult@gmail.com
And that wraps it up. I’m new, but I am an old D.C. local. I know how to work conventions, and I am more than familiar with promotion of brands. I have a low cost need, but I have a lot of time to promote your company.

Indigo Tries the Bvibe Rimming Plug!

8 out of 10
Pairs well with a pint of Guinness. Bold. Full of Body.
This product was sent to me directly by B-Vibe. You can buy from SheVibe in Teal and Black! Or from Betty’s Toybox!

A box displaying a teal butt plug and a white remote sits on a giraffe print blanket.
Oooh. Sexy Giraffe print blanket. Sets the mood, doesn’t it?

When I heard about this plug, I was at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit. Suz was talking about it at length and how much she liked it. Now, we all know how much I like butt stuff. It’s one of the things that partners bring up, which immediately makes me go “Oh my GOD, I LOVE THAT.” So when I heard of a way to get a rim job without having to have another partner present, I jumped on that idea. I spent months imagining it. I was hoping that they would email and ask me to review one.
One day, I decided to send out some emails as I watched my review queue empty, and I sent one directly to bVibe asking for a plug to review. They said yes and I’m pretty sure I immediately texted my roommate to let her know that it was going to be there and I. Was. Excited.
When it arrived, I was in the middle of partner shuffling (an explosive break up), and going out of town to see a bang buddy. So it actually took about a week for me to open the box and examine this beauty. I did have to get through this very excellent carrying case to find a remote (with a battery), a manual, and a quick introduction to butt play. I absolutely love this case. I feel like I can use it as a mini sex-on-the-go kit because it will easily fit some lube, gloves and a small bit of baby wipes. Any company that takes the time to consider needs around butt play, and include education in their products will automatically get a higher rating from me.
A black rectangular case is open on a giraffe blanket. On one side is a teal plug encased in plastic. The other side has an elastic net which holds a manual and a white and teal remote.
This travel case is so damn cool.

But what about this gorgeous teal plug? My goodness, this plug is not for the faint of heart (taint of heart?). Now, I am no shrinking violet when it comes to butt stuff. It’s pretty common that I will haphazardly just put things in my butt. I’ve even gotten very close to being anally fisted (a new goal of mine). However, what I have explored in width does not help me with the length of this plug.
This plug has almost 5″ of insertable length. At it’s widest point, it is 1.5″. One of these is amazingly attainable, but like I said, I haven’t explored so much with length as I have with width. So when I pulled out this plug, I was alarmed by it’s size. It wasn’t until I finally made time to play with it that I realized how easy it is to insert. This plug is a tried and true shape and that was absolutely ideal for insertion. Even with the extra length, I had no problem. I barely had to warm up, even. If you are worried about the size, then you should know that bVibe has released a petite version of this toy as well!
The bvibe plug and it's remote sit on a giraffe blanket.
So when I got it in, what happened next? Well, I did a quick read of the manual (I might recommend reading this BEFORE inserting) and started playing with the controls some. It immediately felt like heaven in my butt. The vibrations are deep and rumbly. That length is actually wonderful for reaching as deep as possible. When I managed to get it comfortable, I turned on the rimming beads. There are a bunch of patterns, which I played with some, but my butt couldn’t really tell the difference, so I just left that bit alone. I will tell you, friends, I don’t think I’ve ever been launched into an orgasm so fast. Especially without some kind of vaginal penetration. It took a vibe on my clit, and the plug, and about a minute. Actually a minute.
Folx, this is why I really love this plug. When I have an actual mouth attached to an actual person, and they perform rimming, it feels amazing. But I usually have a hard time reaching orgasm because I just can’t maneuver the vibrators right. This doesn’t mean the sensations are better than a tongue, if I’m honest. I would much prefer a face between my cheeks. But this plug allows me to lay on my back without squishing anyone’s face. I can insert whatever I want, and I can vibe to my heart’s content. It’s the opportunities for play that make this plug so optimal.
It would be amazing to have this plug in while enjoying penetrative sex with a partner, and the next time I have access to one, you know I’m trying it.
A box with the cover open reveals a black plastic case and a white and teal remote. On the back of the cover is some basic information about the plug.
So why did I give this plug a 8 out of 10 if I love it so much? Well, it does fill some of the voids of not having a partner (ahem). I would even venture that it fills my favorite void. However, I believe that my ratings need to take into account two things that I don’t have to consider, but others do. This plug is pricey (around $150). I realize that is not as accessible for a lot of people. I can only say that it’s worth it if you can afford it.
The second point that I want to think about is size. I know that 5″ will cause discomfort for a lot of people. I have a lot of experience with butt play, so I was unfazed by this, but I’m not everyone. I think that bVibe has sincerely listened to feedback because they have a petite version. I have a sneaking suspicion that the petite version would be excellent, even as a size kweeng. The power of the vibrations just felt so good that the smaller version can only make it more accessible, and probably not lose any good traits.

Indigo Tries Edging!

10 out of 10
This pairs nicely with a good light beer. If you’re trash like me, you use a domestic like Budweiser. But if you’re classier (god I hope so), then any light craft beer will do nicely. It has that sneaking up on you, prolonged effect. Great for a day when you have a lot of time to kill.
So first, let’s define edging for those who don’t know it! Edging is the act of pleasing your partner to the edge of an orgasm, but not to the point of orgasm. You could play this in an orgasm denial perspective, or a teasing perspective. I like both approaches and they feel very different for me! Sometimes, you physically pleasure them. Other times, you could order them to pleasure themselves or tease through text. All of these are great ways to experiment with edging!
So my first experience with edging involved me and a fantasy. Since I was still exploring, I edged myself almost to orgasm and then I stopped. However, I had nothing else to distract me, so after playing around on my phone for maybe a minute, I gave in and resumed masturbating. The orgasm was lack-luster because it lost momentum and I didn’t have enough time to gain it back. However, I was still intrigued by this idea. I’m very submissive, and it’s easy for me to love the idea of someone making me (or preventing me from) reaching orgasm. It’s jut so…out of control.
So I attempted it with my boyfriend at the time, but as it turns out, he’s a real nice guy and also got off on seeing me orgasm. So it didn’t really work. I gave up on edging for a long time. And then…I started texting a domly dude from Tinder and he asked the magic question: Are you into edging? So I gave him a rundown on my feelings, experiences and a strong “PLEASE GOD YES LET’S DO IT RIGHT NOW.” And we did.
So that night, he sent me a text. I had just gotten high and fucked myself like 6 times. I was truly out of control. And the he said “I hope it’s not too forward to ask, but I have an assignment for you. I want you to edge yourself 4 times at 10 minutes each. And then (and only then), you can have two orgasms.”
“…yes professor. :peach emoji; winking emoji:”
With my roommate on the couch downstairs, I went upstairs, grabbed my Doxy and edged myself for 10 minutes.
“One. That wasn’t so bad.” “Good.”
And then I watched an episode of the TV show my roommate and I were watching. I let her know I would need a break to edge for my new dom friend and we paused between that episode and the next.
“Two. Okay, that was tougher.” “Very good.”
One more episode. Food. Sex scene. I’m starting to feel my vulva swell easier than before. My pot is wearing off too.
“Three… Jesus this is so hard now.” “You’re doing great, kid.” “Woof.”
And because it was bedtime, I didn’t have TV to distract me. I sat down to do some work on a review. It was so hard to focus with my clit throbbing. But I said I would do it. It’s the last one, and I need at least 10 minutes between each session.
“Four. Oh my god I’m so ready to cum.” “Great job. A+. You can cum very soon.”
So I waited for 10 more cruel minutes. The clock slowed down. My work was half-assed. And then, I was finally able to crawl into bed with a vibrator and a dildo. I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t feel my legs for 20 minutes. I texted this new dom after each orgasm.
“Heck. I did it. I can’t feel my legs.” “100% completion. Great work.” “Thank you, professor.” “I’m glad I could help my student succeed in their goal.”
And at this point, we lose the thread because Indigo fucking melted into a puddle.
When I solidified again, I began to think about what I got from this kink. Well, I got what I expected. I got a great couple of orgasms. I got a really good submissive feeling. However, what I didn’t expect was a huge blossom of self-love that I experienced right after receiving the praise I was due. At first, I thought it was the praise that did it. Simple pride would be a good feeling.
This was different, though. I felt calm and at peace with my body and myself. I felt like I had meditated through physical mediums and I looked for why. As it turns out, in order to edge yourself, you have to be aware of your body. You have to learn it’s signals, and respect them. Since I’ve been going through Dialectical Behavioral Training, I recognized this as mindfulness (where my psychology geeks at?). I had listened to my body and my wants. I helped them align with my needs. As a result, I built a trust in myself just a little bit. It was more than I bargained for, but in the best way.
I immediately texted my dom about this and we de-briefed about the whole experience. What was good? What could be better? What terms felt natural? What terms felt forced? I told him about my mindfulness, but he isn’t a psychology nerd like me, so it went a little unnoticed. And instead, I texted some other sex geeks, and I got what I needed from them.
Being the type of person who wants all sides to an action, I immediately went to Twitter to ask about Edging from other folx. Specifically, I wanted some negative stories. Sometimes, when you don’t let yourself orgasm, but continue to stimulate, it can create an orgasm that is less fulfilling than if you just rush headfirst into the orgasm. Several people talked about losing orgasms completely from edging. A few folks even talked about feeling frustration or pain from edging. I want to point out that it’s important to listen to yourself. Edging may not be for you, and that is okay. I know that I can’t edge continuously for very long without experiencing frustration. I much prefer edging that lasts 10 minutes and then lets me back off. With this method, I have stronger orgasms because I feel paid attention to without being tortured. (I do love torturous play, but it is different.)
Even with all the bad parts of edging, I’m still a really big fan. I hope that my future partners will give me similar tasks, or edge me in person. Not only does it feel kinky and pleasant, but it also came with so many affirming emotions. If you enjoy teasing and being teased (which I certainly do), you may find yourself enjoying edging as well!