Indigo Tries Some Cleaning Supplies

8 out 10

Pairs nicely with a Lemon Juice/Honey Cleansing Drink. It’s “all natural.”

The Doc Johnson Natural Toy Cleaner and the AfterGlow wipes sit on a rock. In the background is a waterfall. It's majestic and invokes thoughts of fresh, clean air.

These products were sent to me by my friends at Betty’s Toybox! You can purchase the Toy Cleaner here, and the Wipes here!

So around May, I reached out to a few companies to get ready for my usual excursion to Colorado. In this event, I usually have limited access to running water and it’s hard to clean toys, or myself without hiking to another location. It’s great fun, living in the woods.

So I especially wanted to explore options around cleanliness that would mean less hiking. As much as I love toning up my ass, I want to be able to have a lazy wank sometimes, and this seemed like a good opportunity to ask for some products that I normally would not use. It’s not that I think these products are bad or don’t have their place. However, for me, they are a luxury. I live in a house and I am able-bodied. In fact, my bathroom is literally two steps outside my bedroom door. So something that helps me clean my toys or my own body are not really necessary. However, when the bathroom is hard to get to, or possibly doesn’t include running water, these products become more necessary. 

First up, we have the Doc Johnson Natural Toy Cleaner. I chose this brand specifically because their instructions listed online include the words “or let air dry.” This tells me that the ingredients can sit on the toy instead of absolutely needing to be washed off like soap needs to be. 

This spray instructs you to “not drench” the toy. I assume that is because it needs to dry, and having too much will impede that. Makes sense, right? I will admit that I struggle to not drench the toy because I don’t have the best surfaces to set my toys on. It usually ends up on my hands and sometimes my mattress as well. That said, it dries cleanly, and I have not noticed a film or stickiness left on the toys I’ve cleaned with it. After letting one set air dry, I cleaned the others using a paper towel to make sure they got really clean. This set included a highly-textured dildo, so I wanted to make sure all the nooks and crannies got cleaned. That worked just as well as air-drying the toys. So multiple methods helps those who absolutely need to be more active about their cleaning.

I even shot a tiny porn clip with a toy after using this to clean it (it was one of the air dried batch). The toy didn’t taste awful. I would not want to drink a bottle of this cleaner, but the taste of it was not offensive, which will make it a bit easier to clean toys between sex acts, or partners. It will also help with making my porn while I’m traveling. 

I have since looked up each ingredient individually to make sure they are non-toxic. I probably should have done that before I put it in my mouth, but that is a clear illustration of my forethought. They say with their mouth full: “Can I eat this?” Each of the ingredients is a common anti-microbial, anti-fungal, preservative, or moisturizer. Most of them are used in food-related products or cosmetics. Th sanitizing agents are safe and the moisturizers will help clean toys without drying them out. This is important for toys made out of “real skin” materials that aren’t silicone. I don’t own those, but you might!

The next product I elected to test was the AfterGlow cleaning wipes. This product is almost like a baby wipe that is designed specifically for sex. I was a little skeptical at first of this product. Baby wipes are a part of my personal grooming arsenal and have been for many years. I didn’t feel like I needed something else on the table. This is especially true when I can get three packs of baby wipes at 70 wipes per pack for something like seven dollars, and one pack of AfterGlow with 20 is 10 dollars. That is 50 cents per wipe!

And then one day, someone made an off-hand comment about using baby wipes to keep clean before and after sex, to which a friend responded by looking absolutely horrified. I was really confused and then she said “Have you ever tasted baby wipe residue?” Baby wipes existed in a vacuum for me until that point. I mean, we really aren’t supposed to lick baby butts after cleaning them. Of course the producers don’t think about what the wipes taste like. When I use them to keep clean, it’s rarely because someone is about to stick their face between my thighs, because it’s tragically seldom that this happens anyway… But. I. Digress.

So I tried it. 

Reader, let me save you some pain. 

Baby wipes.

Taste.

Awful. 

After this interaction, I understood the appeal of the AfterGlow wipes at their high price. They leave a very faint orange-y taste and smell. It is nowhere near as offensive as the residue that gets left behind by baby wipes.The AfterGlow Wipes sit open to reveal a white wipe sticking out sitting next to the Doc Johnson Toy Cleaner. They are on a wooden boardwalk, and behind is a small stream.

As a result of this very scientific field test, I can affirm that the AfterGlow wipes are possibly worth the money you will spend on them. However, in general, I wouldn’t advise buying a lot of them. A baby wipe will suffice, unless you are planning to give or receive oral on the surface you use them on. Save a little money by getting the three pack. Those in the store may assume you’re expecting or have kids, but at least you’re saving money while getting laid.  

Once all is said, I could recommend both of these items in the incident that you need something like them. I don’t feel especially compelled to purchase them regularly, but when I need something like these, I suspect these two products will be a go-to. 

These products were sent to me by my friends at Betty’s Toybox! You can purchase the Toy Cleaner here, and the Wipes here!

 

Indigo Finds Ways to Use a Waterproof Sheet

Please be aware as you read this that it involves some short erotica scenes. They may not be safe for your workplace, depending on where you work! Photos have been omitted on purpose to help mitigate this risk!

Imagine this. You’re banging a really rad human. They have all kinds of wonderful curves. They are laid upon the bed with their legs open. You can see their loins and feel their wetness. They are ready to orgasm again under your touch. You insert a few fingers into them and push up, finding that gorgeous place that makes them moan. They start immediately, and you drink up every delicious noise that comes from their mouth.

Suddenly, your hand is soaked, the bed is soaked. You awkwardly stumble through the orgasm they have, but the whole time, all you can focus on in the mattress, which was brand new and is now completely wet with their juices. Part of you thinks it is incredibly hot. It will smell like them until you can make time to clean it. But in the meantime, there will be mold to think about. Will the mattress survive until tomorrow morning when they are gone and you can finally get out the carpet cleaner (your best idea for cleaning it)?

It’s not something that happens every day, but it happens often enough for there to be a solution. That’s right, there’s a really great product that can help with this scenario. You get to focus on their orgasm around your hand, and they can squirt all they want. It’s truly a win-win kind of purchase. In case you haven’t guessed, I’m of course talking about a waterproof sheet. I’ve written about them in a number of places because I am a very juicy human and I have used my Sheets of San Francisco more than any other sex-related object I own. Well, aside from lube.

They have a high price point for some people, and I’m not ignorant of that fact. However, there are so many scenarios where a waterproof sheet can come in handy. Just in case you haven’t thought of all the ways they can improve your life, I am here to assure that I have thought of at least a few, and I’m here to share them with you. Brace yourself for some brief, juicy scenes, and a breakdown of the logistics behind them.

Scene 1: Squirting. As outlined above, this particular scene could happen on accident. Someone with a lot of love to give gets you and your bed soaking wet. If it happens enough times, there is a stain, and a faint, lingering odor on your mattress. Not ideal. For the creative bang artist, this can also happen on purpose, with the use of fingers, a dildo, or a lovely fist. After having had an orgasm or two, someone with a vulva who does squirt is more likely to.

I recommend having a waterproof sheet on hand in either scenario. If you know it’s going to happen, you can lay the sheet down beforehand, leaving your partner free to squirt all over. If you aren’t aware it’s going to happen, but suddenly comes up, you can take a brief pause to unfold the sheet and lay it under your partner. Again, they feel free to squirt, and it makes it more relaxed for both of you. This even increases the likelihood that they will orgasm, because they will have less anxiety.

If you aren’t worried about your mattress (how can you not, I mean the things get so gross over so many years, and like partner juices are great, but only where they are supposed to be, and I just love my memory foam mattress so much, I could never leave it like that, but I digress)…

If you aren’t worried about the mattress itself, you might at least be worried about who has to lay in the wet spot after sex. Though I feel that this can lead to shame for some people, I don’t want that. Wet spots are incredibly common, and can be made by any partner. They can consist of vaginal fluid, semen, sweat, urine, spit, or any other number of substances. Though I find that shaming someone over it is harmful, I do understand not wanting a clammy ass while cuddling after sex. So that is the other benefit to a sex sheet. After sex, just pile whatever needs to be washed onto the sheet and bundle it up. Once it’s moved, you leave that space open for aftercare cuddles, or whichever activities more comfortably!

Scene Two: Food. It’s been a long day for mistress. She comes home with sagging posture and bleary eyes. It’s not fair of you to ask her for the usual care you enjoy. Instead, you decide to do something nice for her. You have made up the fruit salad, and the sushi yourself. It’s the benefit to being a stay-at-home husband. Your shared boyfriend is going out with someone new tonight, so mistress is your only concern today. You even asked him to help “set the table,” just before she got home.

It’s carefully planned so that she comes in as he is leaving. You lie there, waiting for them to kiss goodbye, and her to walk in. This isn’t a surprise party. The lights are still on, and the sheet is over the table. You lie there, a little turned on, knowing that this is exactly what she would want to walk into. You can feel a piece of ginger settle on your shoulder blade. The soy sauce is right next to your hip, waiting to be poured into that hollow on your back.

You hear her ask where you are. A brief answer from the doorway and then your boyfriend is gone to his date. She walks into the dining room and beholds the feast you have created. You can see her smile and a sigh of relief. She doesn’t have to make dinner today, even though it was her turn. You try not to wiggle as she pulls up a chair. She pours the soy sauce on your back. It’s cold. Because she’s tired, you can feel her over-pour and it slips down your side to the table. It’s okay, the sheet protects everything.

You were such a good boy today.

There is no secret. I love food play. As someone who loves to play with food and be played with as food, my most treasured possession is my waterproof sheet. It protects my bed, my table and any other surface I want to play on. I can let someone eat whatever they want off me, whether it’s sushi or salsa or fruit or spaghetti. I know that my surroundings are protected. Additionally, as long as the sheet is recently washed, I can be sure that no food will go to waste, even if it falls off the “platter” and onto the table. 

Scene Three: Picnics. You’re out with a lover in a park. Though there isn’t a basket, there is a bag at their side. It has a few sandwiches, some drinks, and one small can of bug spray. The park is empty because it’s not the busy season. You’ve made all the right turns to make sure you’re in an isolated place. No one will interrupt your lunch. Consent to voyeurism is key.

You sit down on a nearby rock, and pull out the drinks and the sandwiches. They are light eating, so it won’t make either of you feel gross, and it won’t weigh you down. Most importantly, you both will feel invigorated for the secret sex you planned. Your picnic spot is a little ways off the path, in a place where you can hear people approach, but you won’t be seen without some creative maneuvering around a few large rocks.

You had a specific vision of riding them in the woods. The ground would be perfectly soft. The moss would be a perfect pillow for them as they watched you ride them. You would resist a little at first, but the orgasm would come quickly, knowing there was even a remote possibility you could be caught at any moment. You flirt a little, but you’re already eager, so it doesn’t take long before the pack and play they are wearing is out. You spend a little time giving them a blow job, just to ease into the sexy actions. But a few minutes later, you’re lifting your skirt and taking off your underwear. They lay down, but the ground is too wet for them to get comfortable. It’s cold, and there’s a big patch of mud in the only flat area.

You bend over a rock instead, and the sex feels amazing. But as you walk away, you sigh. “I really wanted to ride you in the woods.”

This is another situation that a tough, waterproof sheet would have saved the day. Something that would prevent mud from staining clothes, and keep off the grime. Outdoor sex is amazing, but in order to keep clean (and in some cases safe), it would help to have something between you and nature. I have never had grass-crack and let me tell you, it is a blessing beyond words. After your outdoor session is complete, you wrap everything in the sheet and pack it away in a bag. It can be easily washed and there’s no dirt stains anywhere unsavory. Bonus hint: fold it in half before laying it down and when cleaning up, you can unfold it, and fold it in the other direction to keep the messy bits on the inside and not dirty anything else in your bag!

Scene Four: Fistfuls of Fun. He’s been whispering things in me ear all evening. It was a struggle to finish up work in my orifice. I mean office. I hear him suck in air as I come out in my best queer outfit. My black shorts left my thighs almost bare, and my ass peeked carefully from them, rimmed with my lace panties. My calves were bare except for the socks and boots.  I’m not even wearing a shirt. Just a simple black bra underneath my jean jacket. My hair is sloppily put into a bun and my black eyeliner completes the look. The whole ensemble screams “Kiss my punk ass.”

He smiles and pulls me closer. He teases “You look badass, love. It’s a good thing I’m not going for your ass today.” I giggle, internally melting as his hands roam under the jacket.

When we arrive at the dungeon, he pulls out the necessary items. Gloves, lube, a small bullet vibe. He pulls me into a kiss and guides me into the seat in one smooth motion. There’s already a pad down to catch what will inevitably drip from my holes. He nudges me forward a little and lets me lay down. My feet find the stirrups and I hear the vibrator turn on. I’m already wet, but he applies lube to his hand and my labia. It will make things so much easier for both of us.

“Good job, kid. I see you’re already wet for me.”

After attracting a crowd to watch his fist disappear into my cunt, I orgasm hard, ignoring the small murmurs and smiles around me. I moan through the feelings. Afterwards, he guides me down from the climax with soft words and gentle strokes. I lift myself slowly off the medical table. I look back and it is absolutely covered in sweat from my back, and vaginal juice from my cunt. The pad hadn’t covered enough. We now have to clean the whole table as well as me before we can cuddle in the aftercare space.

When banging in public, such as a play party, or dungeon, it’s important to clean up after yourself. It prevents the spread of infections, and just maintains basic cleanliness of spaces. With something like a waterproof sheet, not only do you know that you’re protected from other’s messes, but you know that you’re also protecting others from your mess. As always, it can also expedite the clean-up process. This is especially handy for situations where your play involves some type of sub or dom space. If it does, then you don’t have to delay aftercare. It helps you take care of your partner faster!

Essentially, I find that having a waterproof sheet has been a game-changer for me. It has made scenes possible that I hadn’t even thought about. I know it can be hard to justify the cost of a waterproof sheet. However, with all these ideas, it becomes a little easier. And this is just what comes from my brain. I’m sure that and other readers can come up with other scenarios to use these! I’d love to hear about them!

This post was written in collaboration with my good friends at Sheets of San Francisco. They have a really wonderful set of products, and I would highly recommend checking them out!

Indigo Tries the Tantus They/Them

10 out of 10

Pairs nicely with a Budweiser. That may not be the perfect thing for you, but it sure as hell is the perfect thing for me and I love it.

There are two dildos sitting on a rock. It is two versions of the Tantus They/Them. One is teal, the other is silver. They are short with about an inch diameter. In the background is a bush, and a landscape that looks majestic and rocky.

This review is written for SheVibe, who provided me with the review product. It appears that the teal color known as Peacock is not available. However, these can be purchased in Silver, Blue or Pink.

(This post has been edited to include more accurate information about the renaming, which I had misunderstood originally. I apologize for the misinformation and will endeavor to not repeat such a mistake in the future.)

This post could also affectionately be called “Why I love my dick.”

I encountered the They/Them on accident last Woodhull when a Tantus representative invited me to look at some products. Like any good reviewer, I said “Yes” and away we went. I was intrigued by the Echo and the Paddles originally. I love large toys, primarily and things that I can be hit with. However, I noticed one dildo sitting in front of the television. It was not my usual type at all. It was small, not exceptionally wide, nor was it a very exciting shape.

And like a male lead in a poorly written television series from the 90s, who has just found the girl that is “totally different” and would “change his entire ideology” because she’s “not like any other girl he’s ever dated,” I completely fell in love.

Before I go on, let me give a little more backstory. I had just come in from a trip to Colorado, where I was at a high altitude for about two months. I was hiking for most of that time, and my physical fitness had never been better. When I hit sea level again, I was high on Oxygen for about a week. So I was feeling pretty great when I walked in that hotel room anyway. Just being high on pure oxygen and being at Woodhull once more. Bearing that in mind, let’s return to the moment that I saw the They/Them for the first time.

It was short and stubby, and a beautiful Teal color. It was unexciting and so lovely in it’s simplicity. I gasped, nay, squealed and I picked it up. “It’s so pretty!” I felt it’s smooth silicone. I put my fingers around it’s girth, measuring. I ran my fingers over the head of it, gently poking at the faux urethral opening. I felt the base, sturdy enough for the harness. I pulled a quick measurement from my own hand and it was confirmed. I had found the dick that would be my dick. It wouldn’t be the one I want to use every day when I masturbated. I have actually only used the They/Them as a dildo for my vagina in order to write this review. No, this is the dick I will attempt to put into every harness I place on my body. It is the perfect length, according to my hand measurement. It is the perfect girth according to my proportions. It is the dick I would have been born with if I was assigned male at birth, and it is dark, vivid teal. (I later found out this color was called Peacock, which is quite frankly perfect for me, and is no longer available.)

Reader, I am not ashamed to admit I almost cried in that moment. Later, I did cry real tears over my dick in my hotel room.

I picked up the teal They/Them with no obligation to review, but with a full intention of writing a post about how it affirmed my gender in a way that no realistic dildo ever could. This small hunk of teal silicone changed my life that day, and I wasn’t even expecting it. However, it was offered later for review. After hearing that the firmness of the silicone may have changed since that first encounter, I needed to know. So I requested it in silver. Though the silver They/Them is good- just as good as the teal one- I will always favor that first teal dildo which so changed my life that day.

But is it true? Is the silicone a little softer in the newer version? Well, I am here to tell you that the rumors are true. The silicone is slightly softer. I don’t think I would have noticed if I didn’t have the two of them to compare side by side, if I’m being honest. So that difference may or may not register for you.

Let’s talk specifics of the They/Them. This line was released and there was some backlash about the name They/Them. It was thought to be a marketing scheme targeted at non-binary folks. I actually had no issue with the name. In fact, I was enthralled that there was a dick marketed towards me. I am not a trans man. I am trans masculine, but not a man. So something being specifically centered around non-binary people felt wonderful to see. Though I think it came from a place that intended good, I don’t recall many non-binary folks actually having an issue. The backlash primarily came from concerned allies. So I’ve continued to use the name They/Them for this dick because it perfectly encapsulates what I feel for this dildo.  Some companies, such as Shevibe have opted to rename the They/Them in their stores. I have found out that this is due to SEO, which I completely understand. Shevibe uses “The Chubby/ies.” Each color has a different name. Though these names are technically gender-neutral, I find that our society assumes masculine in most of these cases. I personally don’t enjoy using these names, so I won’t. This toy will be called the They/Them on this blog, but I don’t object on principle to this change.

This dildo is small, like I said above. It has a maximum diameter of 1.7″, which is usually enough for me to scoff at. At a maximum insertion of 4.7″, it doesn’t make up for in length what it lacks in width. However, that does not leave this dick out of the running. The head of this dildo is pronounced enough to give me g-spot orgasms. I find that the smoothness is a perfect way to keep down on cleaning time, while also making insertion easy. I’ve even been able to use this dildo with folks who haven’t had penetration in awhile. Versatility is where this dildo shines.

The two versions of the Tantus They them are both sitting erect on a rock with a beautiful sky view in the background.

The first time I actually fucked someone, I used this dildo. The smoothness of the silicone made this dildo fit snugly into the harness. The base is nice and wide, which meant that my pubic mound was not hurt at all. The way it sit in the harness felt natural. It wasn’t so heavy that it slouched, but there isn’t a curve, so I didn’t feel like my stomach was in the way of my silicone erection. It is even short enough that it fit nicely into my partner. There was a question of whether it was too wide, but that was just an optical illusion created by it’s lack of length. It turns out that it was a great fit for both of us. I not only got to watch as my dick penetrated someone, but I also got to watch them orgasm around it. I was told that I “did better than some cis men.” I almost cried from such praise.

Now, when I have used this dildo on myself, I found some issues. The length means there is little to no handle with which to grasp. I have to firmly cup the base with my hand and the resulting cramps are not entirely worth the orgasm. As an aid from someone who has arthritis, for example, this is a poor choice as a masturbation dildo. This same issue happened when I was using it without a harness on someone else. So the very ideal place for this dildo is in a harness. However, all the rest still stands. It was easy to insert, easy to clean and the quality of the silicone is aces.

This dildo has changed my life in a lot of ways. I absolutely love how it feels and even though it’s short, you might like it too! If you’re looking for something that feels unassuming and non-binary, I would recommend this toy.

As a last note, I want to talk about Tantus as a company. I feel I may have mentioned this before, but Tantus has had a lot of issues around the owners and I always try to stand with victims. Impact over intention. I also hate the idea of separating the company or it’s products from those who create and market it. Separating art and artist only serves problematic people who want to sell their wares. I will not be unpacking every step of the Tantus incidents in this blog post. I was not a victim of them, nor can I speak to them with a lot of accuracy. What I will say is that people I know have been hurt by Tantus, or those who run the company. I love these people and want to support them. So I will not be able to say you should purchase a They/Them. I want you, dear reader, to consume critically and know what you’re purchasing, as well as it’s monetary impact. I received these dildos for free and it has changed my life. Not everyone has that opportunity. So what I ask is this: If you purchase a Tantus toy, purchase through someone’s affiliate links (even if it isn’t mine), and preferably through a retailer so that you can benefit people who aren’t just Tantus.

The silver They/Them lays on a rocky surface with the teal one just behind standing erect. There is a small plain in the middle background, and in the background behind that is a mountain side rising up majestically.

This review is written for SheVibe, who provided me with the review product. It appears that the teal color known as Peacock is not available. However, these can be purchased in Silver, Blue or Pink.