Indigo Does a Year-End Tour!

10 out of 10
Pairs well with champagne to ring in the new year and new experiences!
Hello folx! It is absolutely stunning to see you tune into this bit of delight I call my blog. I’m kicking off my Year-End Tour here at I’m an Adult by creating spreadsheets! One will be an orgasm sheet like the one Kate keeps, and the other will be a spreadsheet of all the toys I have acquired in my life (minus the shitty bullet vibes I bought as a stupid teen. On this post, I want to share my blog stats, and some lovely memories and new ideas from 2017.
This is also my first year as a sex blogger, so let’s talk stats from the year!

  • Number of Sex toy reviews: 38
  • Number of Drink Reviews: 5
  • Number of Educational posts: 18

Traffic Stats

First! What are my tops this year?

Honorable Mentions

The Least Favorites

I don’t want to make this post all lists. But I also didn’t want to leave out the lists. They are so vital to what I love. LISTS ARE AMAZING. So I left them short and sweet, and now that they are out of the way, let’s move on!
My Favorite Bloggers This Year
Girly Juice, A.K.A. Kate Sloan. When I first found Kate’s work, I didn’t really connect with it. She’s very femme and very active with play partners. It also felt like she had a lot of casual-sex-based relationships. If you recall, I was not this way at all until recently. However, as the year has gone on, I’ve changed a lot. I went through a huge break up and learned about my own sexuality. Now, I find myself identifying with her work more and more. I mean this in a lot of ways. Primarily, I love Kate’s style. Her posts have driving points that she uses emotion and fact to get to. As I come into my own style as a blogger, I find that it’s more and more influenced by hers. I especially see our styles coincide in my Situation and Education posts. These posts are usually driven by my need to express emotions and connect with a reader. I feel connected to Kate every time I read her articles. I am delighted to have met her at Woodhull this year, and I cannot wait for whatever she publishes next.
Dangerous Lilly. I had the pleasure of meeting Lilly for the first time at Woodhull this year. I knew of her work and I admired the drive and salt with which she tests materials and makes sure all the toys she recommends are safe. When I had the opportunity to volunteer for an event she was hosting, I jumped on it. (I have since been told that I was extremely helpful, go me.) Since Woodhull, Lilly has been an amazing friend. She is supportive and always has lovely things to say when I’m down. She helped me reach 500 Twitter followers this month, which was my personal goal for the year. I hope that I’ve returned the friendship, and I hope that we continue to get to know one another. I’ve already informed her I’ll be helping next Woodhull, so there’s that. Please visit her for salty (and hilarious) reviews, which I read when I need inspiration to write reviews for less than stellar toys.
Ace in the Hole A.K.A. Taryn. So this year, I had an accidental awkward moment with Taryn when I misunderstood how WordPress uses it’s follow option. I felt like a dope, but Taryn didn’t seem to mind, and for some reason still wanted to be my friend! So now I text her pretty femme things that make me think of her. I also super identify with her writing because I’m also on the ace spectrum! She’s been amazingly supportive and I really hope to continue cultivating a friendship in the new year with her. Her SEO for sex bloggers is an amazing series which I will definitely be reading and examining closer as soon as I fully accept that SEO needs to be a part of my life. Her writing is super amazing, and insightful, so go read it. Also, I regularly laugh at her tweets so hard that I cannot breathe, so please go follow her on twitter. 
Some Goals I Set (and Met) This Year
When I started blogging, it was for fun. I knew it would help my career, but I didn’t expect it to give me a sense of who I am. All of my friends who see the blog love it, and say that it’s very me. I’m proud to tell new people what I do in my spare time, and I’ve learned a lot. It’s affirmed my personality and my priorities in my own mind. This doesn’t even cover all the new friends I’ve made (which I couldn’t possibly cover in a post). I feel like I’ve really reset how I feel about my career and set myself on a path that I really want to be on.
Additionally, I now have over 500 followers on Twitter! I hate social media. I only have one account associated with this blog (Twitter) and I’m not getting any more. I don’t really take photos, and I don’t have more to say, so Instagram and Tumblr are out. I may at some point get a Snapchat for the blog and sell some nudes, but I haven’t been prepared to jump that hurtle yet, so we will see. However, in my first year, over 500 people decided to follow the zany shit I put on the internet, and I’m pleased as punch. Here’s to at least another 500 next year!
This year, I also had one sponsored post. I wrote all about Butt Stuff for Betty’s Toybox. I was really proud to say that my blog brought me some income, and I’m very happy to have teamed with them. I also hope to work with them in the future on more blog posts, so stay tuned!
Goals for Next Year

  • Practice my work with SEO so I can continue to feel growth.
  • Educate more than I review, which is not true right now.
  • Get more sponsored posts. (Companies, if you want to work with me, click here!)
  • Get actually honest-to-goodness sponsored for Woodhull this year.
  • Focus some more on affiliate links and maybe get a pay from those? (I haven’t gotten any yet, and I’m sad about it.)
  • Host at least one giveaway!

I hope you’ve enjoyed something this year (despite it being a horrible trash fire)! I know I have, and I hope to continue my work for many more years. My audience is a lovely perk to what I’m doing on here, and I hope that they continue to get something out of it!
Do you have any things you wish you had seen this year, or wanna see next year? Any resolutions for you/your blog?

Indigo Tries Eggnog and Rum!

8 out of 10
So it’s holiday season! And under normal circumstances, we would barf at the idea of putting an egg in our alcohol (unless it’s a gin fizz, then it’s classy and nuanced). However, once Christmas rolls around, we start popping eggs and cream into every glass of bourbon. Because its ChRiStMaS!!!
Now I want to make one thing really clear: I don’t like Christmas. I enjoy seeing family, and getting out of classes. However, I definitely don’t like giving gifts. I don’t enjoy receiving gifts on a specific day. I hate most Christmas music, and I just don’t like it Sam I Am. Peppermint is suddenly in every piece of chocolate. All of a sudden, everyone wants my cider and hot chocolate with fucking rum in it because Christmas drinks.
But there’s one part of Christmas I truly appreciate: Eggnog.

A glass of eggnog with nutmeg sits on a wooden table. There is the bottom of a small tree behind it, with two hedgehog ornaments and a star wars stormtrooper ornament.
I can’t imagine a more perfect setting and more perfect drink unless it includes a fireplace. The setting, not the drink.

I first tasted this drink as a child and I drank way more than was healthy. But it was creamy and sugary and delicious, so I wasn’t afraid. I insisted on buying one small carton of eggnog every year since. No one else in my family really enjoyed it, but they watched as I would buy one, and then drink it over the course of a week. Sometimes, it worked out that I had my last drink on Christmas Eve. Sometimes, it didn’t take that long to finish the carton.
When I first turned 19, I had been drinking for at least 5 years (because I am a hick and garbage). I tasted fum for the first time at a friend’s house. The night involved tequila, rum and Everclear. It was a good time, but I took that first sip of rum and was in heaven. I immediately knew that I had found my life partner. My one true love: Spiced Rum. So of course, I brought it home to meet the eggnog. It was truly amazing.
So what does drinking Rum and Eggnog feel like? Well, if you have ever taken a cloud, thrown some nutmeg on it and swallowed it whole, I imagine it would be close. It’s somehow smooth and bouncy. Yet also sweet and delicious.
What does drinking Rum and Eggnog taste like? Well if you take a bit of sweet cream, add some whispers of spice, and then just the tiniest hint of warm, soft cat belly. I believe that it’s similar to the taste of ambrosia. That’s why most people can only have a bit of it. They aren’t gods.
But what prevents this drink from being a perfect 10 in my book? Well, the short answer is that it’s heavy. Now, to be quite clear: I am a very big fan of heavy drinks. Guinness is my favorite beer. Hot Chocolate universally needs more chocolate. I have very hearty and rich flavor palate. And yet, this drink should be enjoyed carefully. Eggnog is rich and heavy, even by my standards. I can have a glass, but then I need a break. My cow-wife can only have a shot’s worth of eggnog (which leaves no room for rum). And as I have discussed before, when I drink alcohol with too much sugar, I will have a wicked awful hangover.
As usual, one recipe for you:
Indigo’s Favorite Eggnog and Rum!

  • Eggnog (most brands are good, but locally made is best!)
  • Spiced Rum (I like Sailor Jerry, Kraken or Sugar Island, but the cheap stuff would do just as well.
  • Nutmeg (for garnish)

Pour one shot (1 ounce) of rum into a glass. Add in 3-4 ounces of eggnog. (I usually do three ounces myself, but I like alcohol a lot.) Give it a good stir. Sprinkle some nutmeg on top for garnish (JUST A PINCH OF NUTMEG). Enjoy!

Indigo Tries the Luxe Mio!

8 out of 10.
Pairs well with Sailor Jerry’s rum. It can be really nice if all the pieces are in the right place. But one false move, and it falls kind of flat.
A purple dildo lays flat on green lace. It's prominent head is visible, and the base is at an angle.
This toy was sent to me by Peepshow Toys in exchange for an honest review! It retails for about $26, which is super affordable! If you want to purchase the Mio, please do so here!
The Mio is a toy that I was skeptical about when I opened it. It had all the girth I could want at 2″ diameter, especially at it’s price. When I was offered this toy, I was really excited because I’m a budding Size Kweeng, and I want to challenge myself as much as possible. And I said to myself “6 inches is enough length to work with.”
So I received the Mio and opened it up. The packaging is fairly basic, but not bad. I thoroughly enjoy it when I can see toys through the packaging because it’s a sort of fearless, see-and-buy-this-thing, which I appreciate. I suspect this comes from my days in sex toy retail. I did require some lube to insert it the first time, but with a squirm and some warm-up, I was able to fit the head underneath my pelvic bone. The gods cheered for me that day. It may be only two inches, but it is an unforgiving two inches. That silicone is very firm, and there was no way that I was going to just slip it in.
A purple dildo sits on green lace with the head towards the viewer. There is an indent in the head from the molding process.
In the end, I was right and wrong about that length. If the Mio was 6″ straight out from the base, this toy probably would have been easier for me to handle. Thrusting wouldn’t have been easy, but it would have been possible. But the problem I had was the angle of the Mio. The base is diagonal on the toy, so that the head of the toy curves up (somewhat in an attempt to get the g-spot I would assume). However, the length that is lost with that angle makes it impossible to thrust with this toy. It’s possible that someone who has smaller labia would have an easier time, but for me, I often found my fingers in my vulva and covered in lube. Then there was no hope for it.
So I asked myself, how do I get that curve to work for me? It is a good curve. I expect in a strap on with a careful user, this would feel amazing in my ass. It would be able to get that base flat with my body and push the head where it needed to be. But without a partner and a strap on, how could I accomplish this? I tried putting a firm pillow down and thrusting my hips, but that didn’t work. I couldn’t suction another toy to it as a handle either. So what could I do?
The answer is simple: Insert the dildo until the base hits my labia (near my clit). This left the bottom of the base (and about and inch of the shaft out of my vagina. Then I pushed at the bottom of the base, which in turn pushed the head into my g-spot as designed. I was laying in my bed trying to figure this out, with my Doxy Smol on my clit, when I suddenly had a crazy good squirting orgasm. I had spent 20 minutes with this thing inside of me already, and this orgasm was a breakthrough moment between me and the Mio. It brought the rating up from a 5 to an 8 instantly.
A short and wide purple dildo sits in a clear plastic case. The case is sitting on dark green lace.
So if the orgasm was that good, and there is a way to make this toy really work for me, what is wrong with it?
Well, the length is still a problem. I can’t grasp at the base and thrust, which is my preference for dildos. Additionally, in order to get this toy to work at all, I have to jump through so many hoops, and that’s just not okay. If your consumer has to go through these hurdles, you should design better. When I use the toy in the g-spotting method, my wrist hurts and getting a good angle for that action is hard, especially for the time frame I need to squirt. This toy would be much improved if I could get a handle that curved around my pubic bone. Then I could rock the toy into my g-spot, which I would do with fervor.
To wrap this review up, this toy has a lot of potential in terms of partner play (I suspect), and the width is beautiful. The silicone is firm and feels lush. It’s easy to clean and smooth, with a great head on it. But the length falls short of being convenient, so to speak.

Indigo Compares the Satisfyer Line!

5 out of 10 overall.
6 out of 10 for Penguin.
5 out of 10 for the Deluxe.
Pairs well with any craft beer. A bunch of people will tell you that they are really good and totally drinkable, but they probably aren’t.

If you must purchase them, you can buy the penguin here and the Deluxe here!
Shortly before my post for the Satisfyer Pro 2 went live, I was approached by Satisfyer directly about reviewing the whole line of products they offer. I knew I wasn’t a fan of the Pro 2, but I did want to give them a fair shake. There were different shapes and sometimes, that can help, so I had them send over the Penguin and Deluxe.
I’ll just say it quickly and bluntly. I am about as underwhelmed with these two as I was with the Pro 2. When I opened the packaging, which was the same as the Pro 2, I was worried that this may be the case. But I turned them on to see. Alas, my favorite raptor noise wasn’t present. So they don’t even have that to redeem them. Just boring, quiet vibrator noises. After some recent toys, quiet is a plus, so I suppose they have that.
A Satisfyer Penguin sits on a pile of ice cubes.
I love the idea of one of these toys just being found in the arctic with all the other penguins. This is the closest I could get to snow this year.

Let’s start with the Penguin, which has a slightly higher rating. I will admit this, but only because I plan on apologizing too: I love cute things. Animal shapes will make me happy 9 times out of 10. I’m so sorry because I feel like the person reviewers hate. I think that having a cute design is by no means necessary, and you should absolutely be able to back up something cute with aspects that are good. If you have a dolphin shape, please make it powerful and good. If you have a pretty glass dildo, make it also a great g-spot toy!
Alas, the penguin does not live up to it’s adorable bow-tie. I placed it on my clit, and was met with that familiar boring feeling. And when I turned it up, it was that familiar awful pain. It surrounded my clit on all sides, so I tried moving it around my labia (both the minor and the majora). The best place for the penguins is right between my clit and my vag, which I suspect is for me is an area that is a little longer than the average person. But I also suspect that’s where the legs of my clitoris actually fall. When I put the penguin or the pro 2 here, I can reach orgasm, but it does take a long time because I literally cannot move them for fear of bumping my clit and feeling pain. Total boner-killer.
Little penguin, you’re well-dressed, but you’re not here for my party. And that’s why you won’t bump us up to a 7.
Let’s move on to the Deluxe.
A Satisfyer Deluxe sits in a bowl of eggs. The nozzle is facing upwards.
This was actually the first Satisfyer that I had okay feelings about when I used it. I looked at the shape and I looked at my labia (well, okay, I thought about my labia). I decided that it would probably be buried in there, and I’d have to use something to dig it out. (I had a shoe-horn on hand because I’m a grandpa.) So I turned it on and shoved it in there. I couldn’t keep my grip because oval/egg-shaped toys are a garbage idea my labia were in the way. So I used two finger on the very top and sort of wiggled it until it adhered to…some part of my anatomy?
Well, I let it sit there for a few minutes, and I’m fairly certain I came from that ONLY because the vibrations could be felt in my labia. This is why it took so long as well. I needed the labia stimulation to even get aroused. (I had watched porn to try and forget that the Deluxe is egg-shaped, but then I had to touch it, was reminded of it’s shape and immediately lost my boner. Satisfyer, why you do this?)
Unfortunately, I’m not sure what else to say about these toys. For all the claims that Satisfyer makes, I’m just remarkably underwhelmed by these toys. Since they all kind of…feel the same, I don’t know if I can in good conscious stretch this review any longer.