Indigo Tries the Satisfyer Pro 2

6 out of 10
Pairs well with a Tequini (tequila martini). It has elements of something good, but is so strong, you should only have it in small bits.
My friends at Betty’s Toybox sent me this for a fair and honest review. Buy it from them here! It retails for about $70-90.
I have heard a lot about this style of vibrator, and no one seems to really agree with anyone else on it. Some folks love the way it can force an orgasm, and some think it’s very painful. Needless to say, I think this style is different than what many folks are used to, and I’m fairly certain that you won’t know if you like it until you try it.
With all that said, I feel like I CAN say that if you like a lot of direct clitoral stimulation, this toy is probably a safe bet. But when I say a LOT, I mean less of pressure and tickling and more enjoyment of pulling, or even nibbling if you’ve gone that far. Essentially, I think that if you’re new to clitoral play, this is NOT a safe bet for you. Start with something that’s gentler.

A toy that is copper in color with a white nozzle rests in a plastic cradle. A box sits next to it.
The box is well-designed and classy. I am a little mad about how happy it made me.

The Pro 2 arrives in a really simple plastic cradle in a box. There is a white cord to the side. That cord is USB on one side, and a magnetic charger compatible with the Satisfyer on the other side. It’s advised to fully charge the Satisfyer (about 4 hours) before the first use. And those magnetic chargers are so flipping cool. I am a sucker for things that connect easy. So far, I have had the best luck with the magnetic chargers, and I look forward to using them every time. (JESUS INDIGO, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CHARGER YOU DORK. [Not sorry.])
When I turned on the Satisfyer for the first time, I was a little afraid of the noise it made. It sounds a little like a raptor crooning. I made several jokes about it being a “clever girl” and applied it to my genitals. And this is where my jokes with the satisfyer ended. When it turns on, it starts at the lowest setting and if I put it against my finger, I can clearly feel the suction. I was really excited to find my clit with it and feel that suction. But…nothing really happened.  So then I had to press the other button, which is a different hard button, but under the same soft piece of silicone as the power button for whatever reason. It looks like a shitty volume button, and no, they aren’t clearly labeled. But I digress.
I said “fuck it, I’ll turn the thing up!” And I turned it up a notch at a time, cycling through the many different power settings, and this is where the story gets a little weird. The anatomy of my vulva isn’t so unusual to my knowledge. I might have some fuller labia than others, but my clit is fairly normal, despite my hormone imbalance. My point is this: The Pro 2 hurts me. And not in a fun way, even. I mean, I called it a raptor, but I didn’t think it would actually hurt!
The Pro 2 placed against me on the lowest setting feels like a tickle and I laugh at it. If I press it harder (because I LOVE pressure), it still feels so minimal. But when I turn it up, the suction feels like it doesn’t change. What does get turned up is the vibration, and my clit is surrounded by this circle of high vibrations. And it hurts. It hurts coming from the person who regular mashes their clit into pulp while masturbating. This hurts from the person who (sometimes) shoves a wand right on there with FORCE and LIKES IT.
But that’s not all. It feels like the Pro 2 puts all it’s emphasis on the vibration. Here’s this really great sucking sensation, why am I just putting a ring vibrator on my clit? That’s not creative. What’s more, it’s so pinpoint that it’s not great for me. When you pair these things with the fact that Satisfyer as a company claims that it’s products are “The Best Toy of the Year” etc., I get a little salty. Every toy company says this. When you take the one cool thing you could have and then downplay for something as overused as vibration, I get frustrated.
However, I do think the toy is a nice shape, especially compared to the older models I’ve seen. So far, I haven’t had any wrist pain from using it. It has a lot to do with that bulbous handle. So I suppose they have that going for them?
Basically, I’m not enRAPTORed by this product. In all honesty, this toy does get me off. But I have to somehow find this perfect balance of enough vibration to feel it and not too much (which causes pain). If I get too much, I sit in bed crying “Shoot her! Shoot her!” (More Jurassic Park references.) But if I get too little, I can’t really orgasm from it. The buttons are not very intuitive, but the manual doesn’t really help. For this much money, I expect some sort of guidance at least when it comes to using the toy, and I also expect it to not make wild claims and then focus on vibrations.
They can keep the raptor noises though. Those are fun.

Indigo Tries Two Doxys!

9.5 out of 10 for the Die Cast.
10 out of 10 for the III (Smol).
Bonus Points! If you like rumbly, you’ll enjoy both of them!
Pairs well with a bourbon on the rocks. I would recommend Buffalo Trace. It’s been a favorite in my family for years!
Buy the Die Cast from my friends at Peepshow Toys or my friends at Betty’s Toybox! The III (Smol) will be released Fall 2017!
So the Doxy Die Cast has been reviewed a number of times, but mostly by folks who are married to (or have at least experienced) the classic Magic Wand Original. I came to the Die Cast as my first wand. I’ve never really experienced the power of a wand on my vulva, and so I was under-prepared for the wand effect, but hoo boy am I’m glad about getting one. I received the Smol and the Die Cast at the same time, but I’m starting with the Die Cast because it’s actually released and some folks might know it better.

A shiny red wand sits in a foam case with a zipper. There is a protective paper covering over the head.
This fancy case makes me croon though.

So the Die Cast is a wonderful wand toy. It costs about $200, which I realize is a steep price tag. However, this toy is really the height of luxury. The first thing I noticed was this huge case, which is a lovely matte grey and it unzips to reveal a perfect foam bed with the shiny Doxy laying inside. It’s cord is bundled at one end. It’s perfectly buffed into a shine. The head is large and ready to be rumbly. And did I mention that it’s really shiny?
Story Time! So I plug it in, and turn it on. There’s a god awful noise, and the head starts spinning and vibrating. My partner and I look at each other horrified, and I shove it onto my vulva to silence it. Success! It’s a manageable sound level and it feels great! However, that spinning does come with an unfortunate tendency to roll out of my labia. Byeeee?
As it turns out, that spinning is a defect, and I got a new one from Doxy with much apology! They are super cool about that!
Later addition: A lot of folks have had this fault happen in their Doxy originals, as well as the Die Cast. There are a few folks who are writing about/mentioning these. I hope to link to them once those posts are published. For me, this is a problem within the company, not necessarily for the consumer because they have replaced it every time, as far as I know.
Two wands sit on a teal bedspread. One is red, the other is black. They are both sparkly.
Black one is the defunct one. The new one is shiny slut red. Much like my aesthetic.

Once I got the new one, I was really ready to test this toy for real. I usually like a lot of pressure on my vulva. I enthusiastically put the Die Cast on my labia and immediately took it off. I would not recommend doing that unless you try it somewhere else first. If I put this thing on my pubic mons, I can feel the vibrations through my taint. Soooooo that’s a thing, alright? Instead of putting this directly on my labia like I would with almost any other vibrator, I am more than happy to let this sit on my mons and vibrate there until I orgasm.
The power of the Doxy is never in question. But what else is good about this wand?
There’s a steady mode, if you press the power button quickly, it turns on steady and the plus and minus buttons adjust the power. However, if you hold the power button, it turns into tease mode. Tease mode cycles quickly through all speeds in a sort of wave up pattern. The plus and minus buttons speed it up or slow it down. I rarely use patterns of any kind, but I actually really like this pattern. I think the Doxy is powerful enough that if I leave this pattern around the middle, my vulva has just enough time to breath between high points. I actually orgasmed from this! I was rather impressed, given my history.
So the large Doxy is definitely my jam. It’s rumbly and big and it makes me orgasm in like…no seconds. Great for partner play, and forced orgasm!
A red Doxy wand sits on a teal bedspread. Beside, a chrome wand about half the size sits.
See it’s wee little baby face?! It’s so cute!

So the how does the Smol compare?
Well, for the first note, the small is somewhat less powerful? I don’t know if I can accurately say that. The strength of the vibrations may be the same, but the size concentrates it a bit more, so it be used (by me at least) for some more localized stimulation. I actually managed to hold the Smol closer to my clit without feeling overwhelmed or hurting. Was it pleasant? Not exactly. It was closer to painfully erotic. Like a clothespin or other sexy pain tool. I will do this regularly to get off, honestly. Because I’m myself. Huzzah!
It’s also less cumbersome than the Die Cast. I felt that with the Smol, I could use it during partnered sex with a little less of a struggle. When using either wand this way, the power levels were well-dispersed and did not get dampened. It was especially nice because my partner could feel it lightly on his penis (which is fairly sensitive) and it helped us both reach a great climax.
A Doxy III sits on the bed. It's chrome finish with a black head.
The Smol comes with all the same features as the Die Cast, but in a travel-sized package (well, it’s still wall-powered, but it’s much more easily moved). Since I got this pre-release, I didn’t get a case with it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with one. We will have to wait for the release and find out!
In conclusion, I feel like the Die Cast and the Smol are both luxurious wands. The difference in rating comes down to price. Since the Smol isn’t released, I don’t know the price. The $200 price tag for the Die Cast is really worth it, but I know not everyone can afford it. Additionally, the Smol is easier to move around, and gives the impression that it’s more portable despite having a cord. However, the Die Cast gives me that feeling of settling in for a really nice night at home, with or without a partner.
And they are both so shiny!

Indigo Tries Angry Orchard Stone Dry!

4 out of 10
Retails for about $10/6-pack. 5.5% alcohol by volume.
So guys. I have a problem with cider. Wait, no. I mean a solution. I have a great solution to the problem. The problem is not enough cider. The solution is, apparently, my liquor cabinet. Which always has cider.
I’m not allowed to mention cider without mentioning Strongbow Honey, which is my favorite of all the ciders I’ve tried. And I’ve tried a lot. It has a smooth taste with a sweet arc. There are floral notes and citrus notes and-well that’s not why we’re here is it?
We are absolutely here for Angry Orchard again. I have tried and reviewed two of their varieties now. However, I went out of my way to try a new variety in the Angry Orchard line up. It’s not a drink I would normally pick up, but it is definitely something my sister would. Or possibly my boyfriend. He’s crazy, but whatever.
The line is called Stone Dry, and it’s for all the people out there who don’t like the Strongbow Honey because it’s too sweet. Stone Dry balances out nicely with any sweet drink. It begins with a rather simple taste of bittersweet apples. It doesn’t expand from there as well as I would like it to. Instead of blossoming into the acidic and dry apple taste I want, it sort of just sits.
It fulfills the dry part of the picture nicely. I certainly enjoyed that it felt like a dry white wine when I began drinking it. However, about two sips in, I realized that there was very little dynamic to the rest of the drink. I wanted it to blossom into acidic apples and slightly floral bits. Or more of a puckering, electric aftertaste. But it genuinely began and ended on the same note with a dry overtone and very little acid.
I’ll be honest, I’m not too fond of acid. I prefer floral and sweet with my booze. However, I would have been much more fond of this cider if it had something other than dry as an adjective. Honestly, as I was drinking it, all I could think is that very bland and boring girls would like this because it tastes more like an apple wine than a cider. And not a good apple wine.
All in all, I can’t recommend this cider. If you enjoy rather dry white wines, you may enjoy this. Otherwise, I could steer you to some other ciders.

Indigo Tries Sheets of San Francisco

10 out of 10
Pairs well with a Gin and Soda. Clean finish, if you get what I’m saying.
So I was offered to review these sheets at Woodhull directly from Sheets of San Francisco, and of course, I jumped on the opportunity because we all know how much I can make a mess on my sheets once I get going. I was really excited to finally have a barrier between me and the mattress. Not to mention, that I wanted something to try food play with. I’m a slut with variety, after all!

Indigo's Bed with a black sheet on top. Four sex toys rest on top of the sheet.
With fun cameos from my Tantus Supersoft Vamp and Destiny, the Fun Factory Dolly Bi, and a Fun Factory Tiger (G3;now unavailable)!

I have acquired the Flat Sheet Plus, but they also have a fitted sheet, as well as this printed sheet for a bit more.
The sheets come folded in a box nicely. It’s simple enough to open, unfold and immediately begin playing. The box has some information on it, but it’s minimal. Additionally, the sheets are rather nondescript themselves. They don’t look or feel like normal sheets if you actually look, but if someone glances into your bedroom as they pass, it would be easy to write these off as just a very interesting choice in sheet color. However, if strangers got any closer, or (heavens forbid) touch it, then it would be incredibly clear what these sheets are to be used for.
What I mean isn’t negative. These sheets feel very rough and strange on the bottom. But on the top, they are silky. It reminds me of a very smooth silicone toy. I suppose in some ways, you could see it as that. The top gently caresses my skin when I lay on it. I love laying down with a partner and feeling that against my back during a play session! There’s a nice bonus with the material in that it isn’t slippery at all. Though my sheet is not a fitted sheet, it stays in place easily, making play extremely clean without much extra fuss.
A landscape view of Indigo's bed with a black sheet and four sex toys on top. There are blue blankets piled in the background.
With my personal blankets piled gracefully.

Once the play is done, it’s really easy to pick up the whole sheet with toys in the middle and move it! Then the space is clear for after-care and other activities. Later, I can come back, sort and wash. It’s seamless in a lot of ways! I’ve washed it a couple times since I got it (about a month ago) and it’s shown absolutely no wear or tear!
There are only two complaints that I have about this sheet, and they are very minor: Firstly, there are no washing instructions. The only thing on the tag is those universal symbols used as shorthand for washing instructions, but I don’t have those memorized, so I wish they had it with words too. I have to go to their website every time to check how to wash this. The good news is their products are all washable and dryer-friendly (on low). The only thing I have to look for is whether it’s safe to iron. I don’t care about wrinkles, so this isn’t my problem. It might be for you.
Secondly, since there’s no amount of absorbency in the sheet, I often find my back covered in ejaculate and sweat. It’s not very sexy to be wet during play from these things. I sometimes feel like I’m laying in a puddle as I’m having sex. There’s no problem if that’s your desire, but for me, it feels strange. I wish there were a way to have the top be slightly absorbent to help whisk away some of that moisture.
Overall, these sheets have been a great addition to my bedroom. I use mine extensively, and I would highly recommend for some easy clean up. They feel great, do what is advertised and they wash easily.

Indigo Tries the Laid D.1 Silicone

8 out of 10
Would recommend if you don’t have arthritis and like g-spot drag.
Pairs well with Margaritas. Sort of all-around nice, but if you don’t like the main feature, ends badly.
So I used a gift card and a discount code to acquire this dildo. Of course I wanted the stone one, but I don’t have a spare $100, so I didn’t spring for it. Instead, I found the silicone version of this toy and I said “It’s the same shape, so what’s the difference?” Having never tried the stone one, I can’t say 100%, but I’m like 80% sure that this silicone made all the difference for me.
As I said, there was a discount code and a gift card to acquire this toy. As a result, I ended up spending a really low amount for this toy. I bought it as a way of saying “It’s really new, but since it was inexpensive (for me), I might not like it and that’s okay.” Almost more of a novelty because there is a stone version of it. (It’s also the shape of the we-vibe Rave, and I really wanna try that too.) What I didn’t expect was for it to become a staple in my bedroom.
The D.1 can be acquired in Black, Sky Blue or Pink (because of course). I chose the blue because I didn’t own enough blue things yet, and I wanted to try a new color. Additionally, as I mentioned above, it can be found in stone, and god it’s pretty. They come shipped in a fancy box with a beautiful foam form to hold them in place. The box can be used as storage so long as it’s clean. It seems really durable, so I would opt for that (if I didn’t have a storage system already). However the box not subtle, so please be aware of that if this is your plan.
When I got it in the mail, I opened this very fine packaging and immediately touched it. It felt so soft on my hands. I thought for sure that it would be like silk going in. Hoooooo boy, was I super wrong. Everyone must know, there is SO much drag on this silicone. I said the silicone feels soft, but not silky. It’s also not squishy. Like at all. Think about that softness as a texture and less as a…state of being? It’s like shoving a towel up there, and that’s not necessarily a pleasant feeling. So break out the lube (you’ll need a lot, like a whole sample size).
However, I will say this: after I used it a couple of times, that drag started to feel really good. There’s a big moment for me when a toy goes from being a toy to being an interaction. When I use something like The Pure Wand, I know exactly what I’m getting, and I know I’m getting it fast. It’s almost mechanical. This toy is different. It’s firm enough to snap my g-spot awake, but that drag is what really sets it apart. It’s like a really firm fingering, instead of using a toy.
My boyfriend can attest to the fact that I was angry when I used this dildo. My exact words were “IT’S SO CHEAP. WHY IS IT SO GOOD?” Granted, the first couple of times, I was so horny that almost anything would have worked. However, this dildo continues to be good. That asymmetry is so wonderful for me, and that drag is so welcome to me because of it’s unique g-feel. (Ugh, I hate that, I’ll never use it again, I promise.)
I watched a video of “How to Use the D.1” where they used a twisting corkscrew motion instead of a thrusting one. This is the downside of the D.1. That motion makes my wrist hurt so much, I never use it. Tried it once and I was like, “Nope. No time for that. Never again.” So…don’t do that if you have wrists that are anything expect peak condition. Use this to thrust and change angles as you please, but it’s a little hard to do even that, thanks to the handle shape.
The D.1 is designed so you can use both sides of it. I’m not sure why you’d ever want to use the handle, as it seems to offer no real shape or stimulation, but I’m not judging if you do. I just think there are cheaper simple dildos out there. Because the handle is designed to be insertable, what really happens is that there is no real handle. Even thrusting with this thing is a chore because getting a grip is so hard. Alas, I’m still in search of a really perfect handle for my insertables.
Over all, I think this dildo feels great, but be prepared to use a lot of lube. Additionally, if you have any type of wrist problem, you may want to skip this dildo because it’s unique, but not worth the aggravation of existing conditions. It may very well cause a condition. i’m not sure, because I’m not an orthopedist!